January 2014

Monthly Archives

Latest stories

  • The voice

    I was in the public toilets and had just sat down, a voice from the next cubicle said “Hi!, how are you?” Embarrassed, I said, “I’m doing fine”. The voice said “So what are you up to?”. I said, “Just doing the same as you, sitting here!”. From next door, “Can I come over?”. Annoyed, […] More

  • No ears

    Three guys go in for a job interview, all at the same office. The first one goes in for his interview and the interviewer says, “What’s the first thing you see when you look at me?” The guy says, “That’s not too hard, you’ve got no ears.” The interviewer says, “That’s it, get out, you’ll […] More

  • Golf Player

    Two guys were playing golf, one of them was about to swing the golf club when he noticed a funeral procession going by on the street. The man stopped in mid-swing and closed his eyes and said a short prayer. The other man truly inspired, remarked, clearing his throat, “wow that was one of the […] More

  • I know

    A woman and a baby were in the doctor’s examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in. The doctor arrived, examined the baby, checked his weight and found it somewhat below normal. The doctor asked if the baby was breast fed or bottle fed. “Breast fed,” the woman replied. “Well, strip down to your […] More

  • Sign from God

    A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it’s a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, “So you’re a man, that’s interesting. I’m a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There’s […] More

  • Weight loss program

    A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program. The next day, there’s a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck. She introduces herself as […] More

  • Contemporary Marriage!

    A young couple met with their pastor to set a date for their wedding. When he asked whether they preferred a contemporary or a traditional service, they opted for the contemporary. On the big day, a major storm forced the groom to take an alternate route to the church. The streets were flooded, so he […] More

  • Little Johnny revenge

    While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, “No honey for you for one month!” Later that afternoon, Johnny’s dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. “That’s it! No butter for you for one month!” says his dad. Later that evening as […] More

  • Grandma’s Home

    When I stopped the bus to pick up Chris for preschool, I noticed an older woman hugging him as he left the house. “Is that your grandmother?” I asked. “Yes,” Chris said. “She’s come to visit us for Christmas.” “How nice,” I said. “Where does she live?” “At the airport,” Chris replied. “Whenever we want […] More

  • Lying Neighbour!

    In Court the Judge says to a double-homicide defendant. “You’re charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer.” A voice at the back of the courtroom yells out, “You bastard!” The judge says, “You’re also charged with beating your Mother-in-law to death with a hammer.” The voice in the back of the courtroom […] More

  • A Child’s Prayer

    While walking through the woods one day, I was surprised to hear a child’s voice. I followed the sound, trying in vain to understand the child’s words. When I spotted a girl perched on a rock, I realized why her words had made no sense: She was repeating the alphabet. “Why are you saying your […] More

  • I Love You Too Much!

    On the New Year eve I was sitting with my wife on the deck, enjoying a glass of wine. I said, “I love you so much, I could not live without you.” My wife said, “Is that you or the wine talking?” I said, “It’s me talking to the wine.” More

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