March 2014

Monthly Archives

Latest stories

  • Complimentary!

    A guy goes into the bar and sits down and orders a drink. Other than the bartender, there’s no one else in the place. All of a sudden he hears a voice say, ‘Nice suit.’ He looks around and doesn’t see anyone and the bartender looks busy washing some glasses. A little while later the […] More

  • Spaghetti

    A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for a few years. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to have […] More

  • Not Guilty!

    A guy, sitting outside his home about to be evicted from his house, was contemplating how the future would be after he had divorced his wife, lost his children and lost his job… He notices a crate of beer bottles and walks up to it. He takes out an empty bottle, smashing it into the […] More

  • Small Town Policeman

    A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. “But officer,” the man began, “I can explain.” “Quiet!” snapped the officer. “I’m going to let you spend the night in jail until the chief gets back.” “But, officer, I just wanted to say,” “And I said be quiet! […] More

  • Get a job!

    The Social Security said to Johnny, “Why don’t you get a job?” “What for?” he replied. “So you can put some money in the bank until one day you’ll have enough to retire and you can stop working.” “But I’m not working now,” he retorted. More

  • Gray Hairs

    One day, a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast to her brunette hair. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, “Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?” Her mother […] More

  • Hairy Armpit

    A large woman, wearing a sleeveless sundress, walked into a Bar. She raised her right arm, revealing a huge, hairy armpit as she pointed to all the people sitting at the bar and asked, “What man here will buy a lady a drink?” The bar went silent as the patrons tried to ignore her. But […] More

  • Plastic or Rubber?

    A well dressed lawyer went into a bar for a martini and found himself beside a scrungy-looking drunk who kept mumbling and studying something in his hand. The attorney leaned closer while the drunk held the tiny object up to the light, slurring, “Well, it looks like plastic.” Then he rolled it between his fingers […] More

  • Drunk Superman

    On the top of a tall building in a large city, there was a bar. In this bar, a man was drinking heavily. He would ask the bartender for a tequila shot, then walk out to the balcony and jump off. Minutes later he would appear in the elevator and repeat the whole process. This […] More

  • A Blonde’s dream

    A blonde keeps having the same weird dream, so she goes to her doctor. Doctor, “What is your dream about?” Blonde, “I am being chased by a vampire…” Doctor, “So, where are you in this dream?” Blonde, “I am running in a hallway.” Doctor, “Then what happens?” Blonde, “Well, that’s the weird thing. In every […] More

  • Let’s Be Honest

    Taking his seat in his chambers, the judge faced the opposing lawyers. “So,” he said, “I have been presented, by both of you, with a bribe.” Both lawyers squirmed uncomfortably. “You , attorney Leon; gave me $15,000. And you, attorney Campos, gave me $10,000.” The judge reached into his pocket & pulled out a check. […] More

  • Best Patients

    Five surgeons are discussing who has the best patients to operate on. The first surgeon says, ‘I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.’ The second responds, ‘Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is colour-coded.’ The third surgeon says, ‘No, I […] More

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