May 2014
Monthly Archives
Latest stories
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5th floor
A guy was running for an elevator and he stuck his hand in to stop the doors, and the doors opened. Inside stood a blonde. He said, “Good morning, which floor are you going to?” She responded, “3rd floor.” He pushed the 3rd floor button, plus the 5th floor for himself. As the elevator started […] More
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2+2
At a convention of blondes, a speaker insisted that “dumb blonde” myth is all wrong. To prove it he asked one cute young volunteer, “How much is 101 plus 20?” The blonde answered, “120.” “No,” he said, “that’s not right.” The audience called out, “Give her another chance.” So the speaker asked the blonde, “How […] More
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Head and Shoulders
A blonde and a brunette are both in an elevator. On the third floor a man gets on who’s perfect: Italian suit, handsome, great build with a nice butt, but unfortunately they both notice he has a bad case of dandruff. The man gets off on the 5th floor. Once the doors close, the brunette […] More
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Hourse Rider
A blonde decides to learn and try horse back riding assisted without any experience or lessons. She mounts the horse with great effort, and the tall, shiny horse springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. Out of shear terror, she grabs […] More
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Langauge
Someone mistakenly leaves the cages open in the reptile house at the Bronx Zoo and there are snakes slithering all over the place. Frantically, the keeper tries everything, but he can’t get them back in their cages. Finally he says, “Quick, call a lawyer!” “A lawyer? Why??” “We need someone who speaks their langauge!” More
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Nervous
A small, uncertain, and nervous witness was being cross-examined. The lawyer thundered, “Have you ever been married?” “Yes, sir,” said the witness in a low voice. “Once.” “Whom did you marry?” the lawyer demanded. “Well, a woman,” the witness answered timidly. The lawyer said angrily, “Of course you married a woman. Did you ever hear […] More
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The Blinker
Two blondes were driving down the road. The blonde driving looks at her friend in the passenger seat and asks her to see if her blinker is working. So the blonde looks out the window and says, ”Yes. No. Yes. No.” More
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Shoulda Said
This guy walks into a bar with his golden retriever. ”Hey, can I get a drink on the house if my dog talks for you?” ”Dogs can’t talk, pal. But if you can prove to me yours does, I’ll give you a drink. If not, I get to kick your ass.” ”Okay,” says the guy. […] More
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Life after
“Do you believe in life after death?” the boss asked one of his employees. “Yes, sir,” the clerk replied. “That’s good,” the boss said. “After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother’s funeral, she stopped in to see you.” More
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