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Monthly Archives: May 2014

Message Delivered!!!

Husband sent a text to his wife at night, “Hi Honey! I will get late, please try and wash all my dirty clothes and make sure you prepare my favorite dish before I return.” After a while he sent another text, “And I forgot to tell you that I got an increase in my salary at the end of the ... Read More »

Stop Fooling Around !

A guy sitting in a bar is really looking nervous. Every time the door opens he jumps. Every time there is a noise he cringes. The bartender after watching this for an hour finally goes over and asks, “What’s the matter with you?” “Well I received a letter today that said if I didn’t stop fooling around with his wife ... Read More »

Lost at Sea?

Yossi and Janine, an elderly Jewish couple, are sitting together on an aeroplane flying to the Far East. Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces, “Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning, and this plane will be going down in a few minutes time. The good news is ... Read More »

Cockroaches

Customer: Do you have and cockroaches? Clerk: Yes we sell them to the fisherman. Customer: I would like 20,000 of them. Clerk: What would you want with 20,000 cockroaches? Customer: I’m moving tomorrow and my lease says I must leave my apartment in the condition in which I found it. Read More »

Original

Once there was a girl who wanted a boyfriend. Her mom wanted to help her, so she set up a blind date for her daughter. When the girl got back from the date she said “That was the worst night of my life!” “Why is that?” her mom asked. “He owns a 1922 Rolls Royce!” “Isn’t that a good thing?” ... Read More »

5th floor

A guy was running for an elevator and he stuck his hand in to stop the doors, and the doors opened. Inside stood a blonde. He said, “Good morning, which floor are you going to?” She responded, “3rd floor.” He pushed the 3rd floor button, plus the 5th floor for himself. As the elevator started moving the gentleman struck up ... Read More »

Blind Man is Here

A Nun was taking a shower one day and she heard the door bell ring, she yelled “Who is it?” And the person ringing the door bell yelled, “I’m the blind man.” So the Nun got out of the shower and wrapped her hair in a towel, she didn’t bother putting a towel around herself because the person behind the ... Read More »

Why White?

A fresh-faced lad on the eve of his wedding night asks his mother, “Mom, why are wedding dresses white?” The mother looks at her son and replies, “Son, this shows the town that your bride is pure.” The son thanks his mom, and then seeks his father opinion, “Dad, why are wedding dresses white?” The father looks at his son ... Read More »

Code word

There was an old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing adultery. One Sunday, from the pulpit, he said, “If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I’ll quit!” Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone had committed adultery would say they had “fallen.” This seemed ... Read More »

Team Spirit

At one point during a game, the coach said to one of his young players, “Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?” The little boy nodded in the affirmative. “Do you understand that what matters is whether we win together as a team?” The little boy nodded yes. “So,” the coach continued, “when a strike is called, ... Read More »

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