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Monthly Archives: June 2014

Vampires..

Three vampires walk into a bar. The first one says, “I’ll have a pint of blood.” The second one says, “I’ll have one, too.” The third one says, “I’ll have a pint of plasma.” The bartender says, “So, that’ll be two Bloods and a Blood Lite?” Read More »

National Love Making

A Frenchman, an Italian and an Canadian were discussing love-making. “Last night I made love to my wife three times” boasted the Frenchman. “She was in sheer ectasy this morning…” “Ah, last night I made love to my wife six times,” the Italian responded, “and this morning she made me a wonderful omelette and told me she could never love ... Read More »

How should I know?!

A married couple were asleep w… A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning, the wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, “How should I know, that’s 200 miles from here?” and hung up. The husband said, “Who was that?” The wife said, “I don’t know, some young woman ... Read More »

The sign

Teacher: Why are you late? Student: Because, of the sign! Teacher: What sign? Student: The one that says, “School Ahead, Go Slow.” Read More »

Balcony Life

Bill and Marla decided that the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their 10-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony and order him to report on all the neighborhood activities. The boy began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation. “There’s a car being towed from the ... Read More »

Unique birthday gift

Joe, a billionaire, was in a dilemma. His wife’s birthday was approaching and he didn’t have a clue what to gift her. There was nothing that she didn’t already have. So, when he shared his problem with a friend, the friend suggested: “I have a great idea. You can prepare a certificate for her which declares she can have three ... Read More »

Blind man and his dog…

A blind man was out walking with his seeing-eye dog when suddenly the animal paused and wet the man’s leg. Bending down, the blind man stretched out his hand and patted the dog’s head. Having watched what happened, a bystander said, “Why are you patting him? That dog just peed on your leg!” “I know,” said the blind man, “but ... Read More »

Looks good…

There is this guy named Leon. One day Leon decided to go for walk. He runs into his old neighbor Joe. “Hey Leon yous looking good” Joe says. “I feels good” said Leon “But Leon you smells bad” said Joe Well Leon kept on going, he then ran into his preacher. “Hey Leon yous looking good” said The preacher. “I ... Read More »

Paint my porch

A blonde wanting to earn extra money decided to do odd jobs for her wealthy neighbors. At the first house, the owner said,” Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?” “$50” she replies. The man agrees and gives her the paint and brushes and goes back in the house. The man’s wife overheard their conversation and ... Read More »

Never Talk to the Parrot

Mrs. Peterson phoned the repairman because her dishwasher quit working. He couldn’t accommodate her with an “after-hours” appointment and since she had to go to work, she told him, “I’ll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dish washer, leave the bill on the counter, and I’ll mail you a check. By the way, I have a large rottweiler ... Read More »

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