July 2014

Monthly Archives

Latest stories

  • The secret of my success

    Grandpa was celebrating his 100th birthday and everybody complimented him on how athletic and well-preserved he appeared. “Gentlemen, I will tell you the secret of my success,” he cackled. “I have been in the open air day after day for some 75 years now.” The celebrants were impressed and asked how he managed to keep […] More

  • Shirt Pocket

    A businessman entered a tavern, sat down at the bar, and ordered a double martini on the rocks. After he finished the drink, he peeked inside his shirt pocket, then he ordered another double martini. After he finished that one, he again peeked inside his shirt pocket and ordered another double martini. Finally, the bartender […] More

  • Future value

    A tourist, driving by a Texas ranch, hit and killed a calf that was crossing the road. The driver went to the owner of the calf and explained what had happened. He then asked what the animal was worth. “Oh, about $200 today,” said the rancher. “But in six years, it would have been worth […] More

  • Tight Fit

    An annoyingly self-righteous man went to the doctor for a check-up. He said, “I feel terrible. Please examine me and tell me what’s wrong with me?” “Let’s begin with a few questions,” said the doctor. “Do you drink much?” “Alcohol?” said the man. “I’m a teetotaller. Never touch a drop.” “How about smoking?” asked the […] More

  • Cell Phone Etiquette

    After a very busy day, a commuter settled down in her seat and closed her eyes as the train departed Montreal for Hudson. As the train rolled out of the station, the guy sitting next to her pulled out his cell phone and started talking in a loud voice… “Hi sweetheart it’s Eric, I’m on […] More

  • Ex-Wife

    Tim decided to tie the knot with his long time girlfriend. One evening, after the honeymoon, he was assembling some loads for an upcoming hunt. His wife was standing there at the bench watching him. After a long period of silence she finally speaks. “Honey, I’ve been thinking, now that we are married, I think […] More

  • Cow Horns

    A blonde asked a farmer, “Why doesn’t this cow have any horns?” The farmer cocked his head for a moment, then began in a patient tone, “Well, cattle can do a lot of damage with horns. Sometimes we keep them trimmed down. Still, there are some breeds of cattle that never grow horns. But the […] More

  • Eye Check Up

    A Russian, visiting India, went for an eye check up. The Doctor shows the letters on the board: CZWXNQSTAZKY Doctor: Can you read this ? Russian: Read ??? I even know the guy…, he’s my cousin. More

  • What’s for supper?

    This guy was watching TV as his wife was out cutting the grass during the hot summer. He finally worked up the energy to go out and ask his wife what was for supper. Well, his missus was quite irritated about him sitting in the air conditioned house all day while she did all the […] More

  • Please stand up

    One day a college professor of Psychology was greeting his new college class. He stood up in front of the class and said, “Would everyone who thinks he or she is stupid please stand up?” After a minute or so of silence, a young man stood up. “Well, good morning. So, you actually think you’re […] More

  • Second Appendix

    A man phoned his doctor very late at night saying his wife appeared to have Appendicitis. “That’s impossible,” the physician replied, peeved at being woken up after midnight. “She had an appendectomy last year. Don’t be stupid. Only a moron like you would wake me up for something this idiotic. Have you ever seen anybody […] More

  • Enforcing The Rules

    Employed by the human-development center of a corporation in the Midwest, a recent college graduate trains employees in proper dress codes and etiquette. One day as she was stepping onto the elevator, a man casually dressed in jeans and a golf shirt got on with her. Thinking of her responsibilities, she scolded, “Dressed a little […] More

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