Joke of the day
Home » 2014 » August (page 5)

Monthly Archives: August 2014

Cannibals

One day three people were stuck on an island with cannibals. The cannibals said, “If you do what we say, we won’t kill you”. So the 3 people followed the orders which were to go into the forest and pick 10 fruits of your choice. So the first person came back out of the forest with 10 apples. The cannibals ... Read More »

Princess & a frog

Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle. The frog hopped into the princess’ lap and said, “Elegant lady, I was once a handsome prince until an evil witch cast ... Read More »

Oak

A young woman asks her mother, “Mom, how many kind of penisês are there?” The mother, surprised, answers, “Well, daughter, a man goes through three phases. In a man’s twenties, is like an oak, mighty and hard. In his thirties and forties, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree.” “A ... Read More »

I Won!

A blonde walked in a diner and orders a cup of coffee. When she gets her drink, she notices that it has a “contest game piece” on the side of the cup. She peels off the sticker and instantly starts screaming, “I won a motor home!” She continues shoulting, “I won a motor home!” until the waitress decides to get ... Read More »

Golf in Heaven

Bill, the avid golfer, contacts a “Medium” and asks if there is a golf course in Heaven. The Medium says that his request is a big order, but he will try and find out and get back to him in a few days. After several days go by, Bill finally gets a call from the Medium. “Well,” said Bill, “What ... Read More »

Complete coverage

Two men are in a doctor’s office. Each of them are to get a vasectomy…the nurse comes into the room and tells both men, “Strip and put on these gowns before going in to see the doctor to have your procedures done.” A few minutes later she returns and reaches into one man’s gown and proceeds to fondle and ultimately ... Read More »

Burglar’s secret

A man walks into a police station and asks to speak to the burglar who broke into his house the night before. “I’m sorry sir, but you’ll get your chance in court,” says the duty officer. “No, you don’t understand,” says the man. “I want to know how he got in the house without waking the wife. I’ve been trying ... Read More »

First day

A passenger in a taxi leaned over to ask the driver a question and tapped him on the shoulder. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb, and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window. For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, and then the still ... Read More »

Special gift

An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring and showed it to him. The old man said, “I don’t think you ... Read More »

A Mental Hospital

After hearing that one of the patients in a mental hospital had saved another from a suicide attempt by pulling him out of a bathtub, the hospital director reviewed the rescuer’s file and called him into his office. “Mr. Haroldson, your records and your heroic behavior indicate that you’re ready to go home. I’m only sorry that the man you ... Read More »

Scroll To Top