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Monthly Archives: September 2014

Grandma’s Boyfriend

A 5-year old boy went to visit his grandmother one day. While playing with his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting furniture, he looked up and said, “Grandma, how come you don’t have a boyfriend?” Grandma replied, “Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can set in my bedroom and watch it all day long. The TV evangelists ... Read More »

Ginger!

A woman goes to her boyfriend’s parents’ house for dinner. This is her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous. They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal. The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost making her eyes water. Left ... Read More »

Bad gums

There was a father and his young son who lived in a secluded village somewhere in central Australia. The boy’s mother had left the father under difficult circumstances, and he had had bad experiences with women ever since. So he took his boy aside one day and told him, “Listen son, don’t go messing around with women, because, you know, ... Read More »

Ouch! That hurts!

A young woman said to her doctor, ‘You have to help me, I hurt all over.’ ‘What do you mean?’ said the doctor. The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled,’Ow, that hurts.’ Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, ‘Ouch! That hurts, too.’ Then she touched her right earlobe.’Ow, even THAT hurts.’ The ... Read More »

Two Irishmen

Two Irishmen, Patrick & Michael, were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape from a burning freighter. While rummaging through the boat’s provisions, Patrick stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of Patrick, a genie came forth. This particular genie, however, stated that he could only ... Read More »

Marriage Vows!

When Joe, a nice man married for over 50 years died, his wife, Myrtle was devastated. A couple of months later, Myrtle also died. Once in heaven, Myrtle anxiously looked for Joe. Suddenly, behind a Cloud, she could clearly see him with another woman. She ran towards him, calling his name, “Joe. Darling, Joe” Joe said, “Hold your horses woman, ... Read More »

Speech Impediment

Two life-long friends were enjoying a few pints down at the local bar, when one said to the other: “If I ask you a question, will you promise to answer me honestly?” “Yeah, sure thing,” replied his friend, “fire away.” “Well,” said the first guy, “why do you think all the guys around here find my wife so attractive?” “It’s ... Read More »

Blind Man

Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus. So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband ... Read More »

Stern Warning!

Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently scold the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said, “Johnny, when I was a child, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that.” Little Johnny looked up and replied: “Well, Ms. Smith, ... Read More »

No a Member

Three women are in a gym locker room dressing up to play racquetball when suddenly a guy runs through the room wearing nothing but a bag over his head. He passes the first woman, who looks down at his penis. “He’s not my husband,” she says. He passes by the second woman, who also looks down at his penis. “He’s ... Read More »

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