October 2014

Monthly Archives

Latest stories

  • Grandma’s Revenge

    When my three-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a water pistol. He squealed with delight and headed for the nearest sink. I was not so pleased. I turned to Mom and said, “I’m surprised at you. Don’t you remember how we used to drive you crazy with water guns?” Mom […] More

  • The Shower

    Ray shows up at the bar all out of breath so Dewey asks him what the hell is wrong with you? So Ray says “Ive been running from the cops but I finally lost them” Dewey then asked “what the hell did you do?” Ray replied ” I was pi$$ing in the shower and the […] More

  • Reward

    A lady lost her handbag in the bustle of shopping. It was found by an honest little boy and returned to her. Looking in her purse, she commented: “Hmmm… That’s funny. When I lost my bag there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are 20 $1 bills.” The boy quickly replied: “That’s right, […] More

  • How Do They Do It

    A dentist was getting ready to clean an elderly lady’s teeth. He noticed that she was a little nervous, so he began to tell her a story as he was putting on his surgical gloves… “Do you know how they make these rubber gloves?” She said, “No?” “Well”, he spoofed, “down in Mexico they have […] More

  • The Baloonist

    A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She reduced altitude and spotted a man below. She descended a bit more and shouted: ‘Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago but I don’t know where I am..’ The man below replied, ‘You’re […] More

  • Two mothers-in-law

    Danny was being tried for Bigamy in a court. After the judge passed his sentence, he asked Danny, “Have you learnt your lesson and realized what a bad thing it is to have more than one wife.” “Yes, your honor, I have,” he replied. “What is it that you realized?” the judge asked. Danny replied, […] More

  • Mum’s operation

    Two women were bemoaning the state of the Health Service. One said, “Do you know, my ninety-three-year-old mother has been waiting over a year for her operation?” “That’s appalling,” said the other woman. “What a terrible way to treat someone of that age.” “I know,” said the first woman. “It got so bad that at […] More

  • The devil herself

    A fellow’s wife was very worried about her husband’s heavy drinking and one night she decided to give him a fright. She draped herself in a white sheet and went down to the local cemetery, knowing that her husband was in the habit of taking a shortcut through it on his way home from the […] More

  • Insomnia

    A man went to the doctor complaining of insomnia. The doctor gave him a thorough examination but found absolutely nothing physically wrong with him. “Listen,” the doctor said, “if you ever expect to cure your insomnia, you just have to stop taking your troubles to bed with you.” “I know,” said the man, “but I […] More

  • Have no worries

    “When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden,” a young woman said to her boyfriend. “That’s very kind of you, darling,” her boyfriend replied: “but I don’t have any worries or troubles.” “Well, that’s because we aren’t married yet.” More

  • The Will

    A lawyer was reading out the will of a rich man to the people mentioned in the will: “To you, my loving wife Rose, who stood by me in rough times, as well as good, I leave her the house and $2 million.” The lawyer continued, “To my daughter Jessica, who looked after me in […] More

  • Gorilla removal

    This guy wakes up one morning to find a gorilla in his tree. He looks in the phone book for a gorilla removal service until he finds one. “Is it a boy or girl Gorilla?” the service guy asks. “Boy,” is the man’s response. “Oh yeah, I can do it. I’ll be right there”, says […] More

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