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Monthly Archives: November 2014

You gotta love..

After working most of her life Grandma finally retired. At her nextcheckup, the new doctor told her to bring a list of all the medicinesthat had been prescribed for her. As the young doctor was looking through these, his eyes grew wide as herealized she had a prescription for birth control pills. “Mrs. Smith, doyou realize these are BIRTH CONTROL ... Read More »

Which one

Just before Christmas, an honest politician, a generous lawyer and Santa Claus were riding in the elevator of a very posh hotel. Just before the doors opened they all noticed a $20 bill lying on the floor. Which one picked it up? Santa of course, because the other two don’t exist! Read More »

Slow Mom, Fast Mom!

Little Freddie’s mother was in the hospital, and he was paying a visit to see his new brother. He wandered into an adjoining room which was occupied by a woman with a broken leg. “Hello,” he said. “How long have you been here?” “Oh, about a month.” “Let me see your baby,” he then asked. “Why, I haven’t a baby,” ... Read More »

The Watch

Little Johnny sees that his friend at school has a new watch so he asks him how he got it. “I waited until I heard the bedsprings squeaking in my folk’s bedroom and then I ran in. My father gave me a watch to get rid of me.”, replied the little friend. Little Johnny, thinking that this was a cool ... Read More »

Husband in a Good Mood

Darling, remember 25 years ago…. I had a rented one room apartment, a table fan, a black & white tv and a cycle to use. But, at night I used to sleep besides a 25 yrs old beautiful girl. Now I own a luxurious bungalow with, 4 LED TVs, a Limousine and a Porsche, servants… but I sleep with a ... Read More »

Speeding Ticket!

A man was pulled over for driving too fast, even though he thought he was driving just fine. Officer: You were speeding. Man: No, I wasn’t. Officer: Yes, you were. I’m giving you a ticket. Man: But I wasn’t speeding. Officer: Tell that to the judge! (The officer gives man the ticket.) Man: Would I get another ticket if I ... Read More »

The After-Effects of Marriage

A lion was getting married and all animals attended the wedding. Every animal stood a distance and wished then lion. A mouse came and climbed to the stage and extended his hand to wish the lion. The lion roared in rage and said, “How dare are you to come up the stage? Even the tiger is maintaining distance and you ... Read More »

If I died..

Wife: “Would you get a girlfriend again if I died?” Husband: “Of course not.” Wife: “Why not? Don’t you like being married?” Husband: “Ok, I would marry again.” (annoyed) Wife: “Oh…” (sad) Husband: -silence- Wife: “Would you live in our house?” Husband: “Sure, it’s a great house.” Wife: “Would you two sleep in our bed?” Husband: “Where else would we ... Read More »

Wristbands !

In Korea, when a patient is taken to hospital, a white wristband is placed on their left arm. These wristbands contain the patient’s name and information. When a patient dies, a red wristband is placed on their right arm and they are taken to the morgue. In one particular hospital in Korea, a young doctor was working the night shift. ... Read More »

Diagnostic Machine

A man without medicare or medical insurance injured himself playing tennis and couldn’t afford to go to the doctor. A friend of his told him there was a wonderful new diagnostic machine at the drugstore and suggested he try it out. So the man went down to the drugstore and poured the required urine sample into the machine. The machine ... Read More »

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