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Monthly Archives: March 2015

Great News

The day after a man lost his wife in a scuba diving accident, he was greeted by two grim-faced policemen at his door. “We’re sorry to call on you at this hour, Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about your wife.” “Well, tell me!” the man said. The policeman said: “We have some bad news, some good news and ... Read More »

Call To Sarge

Two policemen call the station on their radio. “Hello. ….. Is this the Sarge?” “Yes?” “We have a case here, Sarge. A woman has shot her husband dead for stepping on the floor she had mopped.” “Have you arrested the woman?” “No sir. The floor is still wet.” Read More »

A step further

A woman is walking on the road and a voice shouts out, “Don’t take a step further.” She obeys and suddenly a ton of bricks fall on the place where she would have otherwise been. She thinks she imagined it and keeps walking until suddenly the voice calls out again. “Don’t take a step further.” She stops and a car ... Read More »

My Wife a Chicken

A man runs to the doctor and says, “Doctor, you’ve got to help me. My wife thinks she’s a chicken!” The doctor asks, “How long has she had this condition?” “Two years,” says the man. “Then why did it take you so long to come and see me?” asked the shrink. The man shrugs his shoulders and replies, “We needed ... Read More »

Dear Husband

A prisoner in jail receives a letter from his wife: “Dear Husband, I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?” The prisoner, knowing that the prison guards read all mail, replied in a letter: “Dear Wife, whatever you do, do not touch the back garden. That is where I ... Read More »

Taxes

A Dutchman was explaining the red, white and blue Netherlands flag to an American. “Our flag is symbolic of our taxes. We get red when we talk about them, white when we get our tax bills, and blue after we pay them.” The American nodded. “It’s the same in the USA only we see stars too!” Read More »

Light a candle

A couple, desperate to conceive a child, went to their priest and asked him to pray for them. “I’m going on a sabbatical to Rome,” he replied, “and while I’m there, I’ll light a candle for you.” When the priest returned three years later, he went to the couple’s house and found the wife pregnant, busily attending to two sets ... Read More »

Inside the circle

A blonde, brunette, and redhead went to a church to donate money. The brunette draws a circle around her and throws up all her money. She says that whatever lands inside the circle is for God, and whatever lands outside of the circle she keeps. The redhead then draws a line, stands on it, and throws up all of her ... Read More »

WC Teams’ Report Card

Comparing World Cup teams with Academics Performance. India: A unpredictable student who either tops or fails miserably and has a rich daddy. Even if he fails the mother covers up by saying ‘Atleast he has better marks than his other classmate called Pakistan.’ South Africa: A student who tops in units and semesters, but fails in the final exams. Pakistan: ... Read More »

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