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Monthly Archives: April 2015

Goodbye, Mother!

A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an old lady following him around. Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on. Finally he went to the checkout line, but she got in front of him. “Pardon me,” she said, “I’m sorry if my staring at you has made ... Read More »

Irish Tradition

Patrick walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the corner of the room, drinking a sip out of each pint in turn. When he had finished all three, he went back to the bar and ordered three more. The barman says, “You know a pint goes flat soon after I pull it . ... Read More »

Go over and ask him..

A man took his wife to the rodeo and one of the first exhibits they stopped at was the breeding bulls. They went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said, “This bull mated 50 times last year.” The wife playfully nudged her husband in the ribs and said, “He mated 50 times last year.” ... Read More »

Break the News Doctor!

Grandma was nearly ninety years of age when she won 1,000,000 pounds on the football pools. Her family were extremely worried about her heart and feared that news of her large win would come as too much of a shock for her. “Think we had better call in the doctor to tell her the news,” suggested the eldest son. The ... Read More »

Girls Night Out…

The other night, I was invited out for a night with “the girls.” I told my husband that I would be home by midnight. “I promise,” were my last words. The hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily and around 3 a.m. we piled into a cab and headed to our respective homes, quite inebriated. Just as ... Read More »

Deadly Talk

A widower who never paid any attention to his wife while she was alive now found himself missing her desperately. He went to a psychic to see if he could contact his late wife. The psychic went into a trance. A strange breeze wafted through the darkened room, and suddenly, the man heard the unmistakable voice of his dearly departed ... Read More »

Hiding Out!

A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not rung in sick one day. Having an urgent problem with a main computer, he phoned the employee’s home number and was greeted with a child’s whisper, “Hello?” “Is your Daddy home?” he asked. “Yes,” whispered the small voice. “May I speak to him?” The child whispered, “No.” Surprised ... Read More »

A Prayer for Dinner Parties

A woman invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to her six-year-old daughter and said, “Would you like to say the blessing?” “I wouldn’t know what to say,” she replied. “Just say what you hear Mommy say,” the mother said. The child bowed her head and said, “Dear Lord, why on earth did I invite all these ... Read More »

Misbehaving

Little Johnny had finished his summer vacation and gone back to school. Two days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that he was misbehaving. “Wait a minute,” she said. “I had Johnny with me for three months and I never called you once when he misbehaved. Read More »

A Secret Dental Affair

Laura fell for her handsome new dentist like a ton of bricks and pretty soon had lured him into a series of passionate rendezvous in the dental clinic after hours. But one day he said sadly, “Laura, honey, we have to stop seeing each other. Your husband’s bound to get suspicious.” “No way, sweetie, he’s dumb as a post,” she ... Read More »

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