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Monthly Archives: May 2015

Perfect Girl!

A friend asked a gentleman why he never married? Replied the gentleman, “Well, I guess I just never met the right woman… I guess I’ve been looking for the perfect girl.” “Oh, come on now,” said the friend, “Surely you have met at least one girl that you wanted to marry.” “Yes, there was a girl… once. I guess she ... Read More »

Getting serious

A man and a woman had been dating for about a year, and their relationship was getting serious. The man proposed marriage, and she accepted. However, she told him that she wanted him to know that her chest was just like a baby’s. He said that he loved her and that her measurements didn’t matter to him. He told her ... Read More »

Divorce Court

A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, “What are the grounds for your divorce?” She replied, “About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by.” “No,” he said, “I mean what is the foundation of this case?” “It is made of concrete, brick and mortar,” ... Read More »

Keeping a Mistress!

A Singapore millionaire secretly maintained a mistress in Hong Kong, bought a posh sea view apartment (in his own name) for her to live in, plus gave her a monthly allowance of US$5,000. The house cost him about US$700,000 in 2005, the affair lasted for 5 years. He sold the house this year for $3.8 million, after they broke up. ... Read More »

Talking Dog For Sale

This guy sees a sign in front of a house “Talking Dog for Sale.” He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the back yard. The guy goes into the back yard and sees a mutt sitting there.”You talk?” he asks.”Yep,” the mutt replies.”So, what’s your story?”The mutt looks up and says “Well, I discovered ... Read More »

Bad news

A man sat in his attorney’s office. “Do you want the bad news first or the terrible news?” the lawyer asked. “Give me the bad news first.” “Your wife found a picture worth a half-million dollars.” “That’s the bad news?” asked the man, incredulously. “I can’t wait to hear the terrible news.” “The terrible news is that it’s of you ... Read More »

Tennis lesson

A lady goes in to take a tennis lesson, and the instructor notices she is using the wrong grip. After several failed attempts to correct her, he finally says “OK, just grip it like you do your husband’s member”. After that, she immediately rips a couple of top spin winners down the line. The instructor says, “Wow that’s great. Now ... Read More »

The boss ordered one of his me…

The boss ordered one of his men to dig a hole eight feet deep. After the job was completed the boss returned and explained an error had been made and the hole wouldn’t be needed. “Fill ‘er up,” he ordered. The worker did as he’d been told. But he ran into a problem. He couldn’t get all the dirt packed ... Read More »

The Box

One day long ago, a man and woman got married. The man told the woman that there would always be a box under the bed but to never look into it. So they were married for 40 years and the woman never looked in the box. On the morning of their 40th anniversary, the wife looked in the box. In ... Read More »

Stay out of the dorms…

On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules. “The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $25 the first time.” He continued, “Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined ... Read More »

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