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Monthly Archives: July 2015

Classic Comeback

If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman. He was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the policeman’s credibility. Q: Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene? A: No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the ... Read More »

Potatoes!

One night there was three fugitives escaping from jail. One was blonde, one was brunette and the other was a red-head. They had the police hot on their trail and quickly thinking the brunette points out an old, abandoned factory perfect for hiding in. When all three were inside the red-head, quickly thinking said they should all hid in old ... Read More »

Shoes & Boots Sale

A large store was having its spring sale on shoes and boots. It was the first day of the sale, and the shoe department was fully of women who were eagerly trying to buy them. There were all kinds of shoes and boots in a variety of colors, and the prices had been reduced a lot, because the store wanted ... Read More »

Training The Blonde

An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a stay-over in another city, so upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight. The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day’s route, he noticed ... Read More »

Arriving in Heaven!

A man is standing outside the gates of Heaven. Saint Peter approaches and says, “Can I help you?” The man replies, “No thanks.” He continues to stand on the clouds. “Are you sure I can’t help you?” says Saint Peter. “No. That’s fine,” says the man. Several minutes pass before Saint Peter approaches the man again. “Look,” he says, “You ... Read More »

One day the first grade teacher

One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, “…. and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, “The sky is falling, the sky is falling!” The teacher paused then asked the ... Read More »

Which bus…

A drunken man gets on the bus late one night, staggers up the aisle, and sits next to an elderly woman. She looks the man up and down and says, I’ve got news for you. “You’re going straight to hell!” The man jumps up out of his seat and shouts, “Shoot, I’m on the wrong bus!” Read More »

Pushing The Wrong Way…

Two boys were struggling with a huge table in a doorway. They pushed and pulled and upped it and downed it until both were exhausted. Between gasps for air, one managed to say, “We better give up… because we’ll never get this table into the house.” “Into the house?” screamed the other. “I thought we were moving it out of ... Read More »

A bar owner locked up his plac

A bar owner locked up his place at 2 AM and went home to sleep. He had been in bed only a few minutes when the phone rang. “What time do you open up in the morning?” he heard an obviously inebriated man inquire. The owner was so furious, he slammed down the receiver and went back to bed. A ... Read More »

How did school go today?

“How did school go today? a mother asked her little boy. “Fine”, the little fellow replied. “We had a new teacher and she wanted to know if I had any brothers and I told her I was an only child”. What did she say?” his mother asked. “ The teacher said, “Thank goodness” Read More »

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