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Monthly Archives: August 2015

Clearly cheating

A man cheats on his girlfriend Lorraine with a woman named Clearly. Lorraine dies suddenly. At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, “I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone.” Read More »

Little Johnny… fascinate

A teacher asks her students to give her a sentence with the word “fascinate” in it. A little girl says, “Walt Disney World is fascinating.” The teacher says, “No, I said, ‘fascinate.'” Another little girl says, “There’s so much fascination when it comes to sea life.” The teacher again says, “No, the word is fascinate.” Little Johnny yells from the ... Read More »

Pole Dancers!

A guy meets a childhood pal. “What are you doing for yourself these days?” “I’m a fireman.” “Oh yeah? My 15-year-old kid wants to be a fireman.” “Well, if you want some good advice, you’ve got to install in your house a pole that will go to the base- ment so your kid can practice, ’cause the hardest thing for ... Read More »

Where Have You Been???

A convicted felon was given ten years without parole for his latest crime. After 2 years in jail, he managed to escape. His escape was the lead item on the six o’clock news. Because he had to be careful, he worked his way home taking little travelled routes, running across deserted fields and taking every precaution he could think of. ... Read More »

A visit with Grandpa…

A man goes to visit his 85-year-old grandpa in the hospital. “How are you grandpa?” he asks. “Feeling fine,” says the old man. “What’s the food like?” “Terrific, wonderful menus.” “And the nursing?” “Just couldn’t be better. These young nurses really take care of you.” “What about sleeping? Do you sleep okay?” “No problem at all — nine hours solid ... Read More »

Four Surgeons

Four surgeons were sitting around discussing who they like to operate on. The first surgeon said, “I like operating on librarians. When you open them up everything is in alphabetical order”. The second surgeon said, “I like operating on accountants. When you open them up everything is in numerical order”. The third surgeon said, “I like operating on electricians. When ... Read More »

Is there a problem?

A guy was driving when a policeman pulled him over. He rolled down his window and said to the officer, “Is there a problem, Officer?” “No problem at all. I just observed your safe driving and am pleased to award you a $5,000 Safe Driver Award. Congratulations. What do you think you’re going to do with the money?” The driver ... Read More »

Coffee Maker

The newlywed Blonde went to the store to ask how to operate the new coffeemaker received as a wedding gift. The salesman carefully explained how everything worked; how to plug it in, set the timer, go to bed, and upon rising, the coffee is ready. A few weeks later the goober was back in the store and the salesman asked ... Read More »

Winking Problem

A man with a winking problem is applying for a position as a sales representative for a large firm. The interviewer looks over his papers and says, “This is phenomenal. You’ve graduated from the best schools; your recommendations are wonderful, and your experience is unparalleled. Normally, we’d hire you without a second thought. However, a sales representative has a highly ... Read More »

Hotel Bill

Once a lady decides to celebrate her birthday by staying at a Luxury hotel. The next day when thelady is checking out of the hotel, they give her a bill for $250. She is taken aback looking at the bill and starts fighting at the desk on such a big bill. The Manager comes in to end the ruckus with ... Read More »

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