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Monthly Archives: September 2015

Afraid to cough

John was a clerk in a small drugstore but he was not much of a salesman. He could never find the item the customer wanted. Bob, the owner, had about enough and warned John that the next sale he missed would be his last. Just then a man came in coughing and he ask John for their best cough syrup. ... Read More »

Today Is My Birthday

A woman is in the bar of a cruise ship and she asks the bartender for a scotch and two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink, she says, “It’s my birthday today, and I’m on the cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday.” The bartender says, “Well, since it’s your birthday I’ll buy you a drink; in ... Read More »

Blonde and computers

Yesterday I came back to my office from Court. There was a new secretary (a very attractive blonde, of course?) in the office down the hall from me. She flagged me down and asked for help. “My floppy drive won’t work, can you help me ?” she asked. I told her I’d take a look and proceeded over to her ... Read More »

Who is in charge?

Bill and Hilary were driving through Little Rock, and when they passed by a gas station a big man yelled ‘Hi Hilary’ and Hilary said ‘Hi Bubba’. Bill asked ‘who was that?’ And Hilary told him it was a old high school boyfriend. Bill said, ‘See if you married him you would be married to a gas station attendant, but ... Read More »

Good Impression

An older man, not in the best physical condition, asked the trainer in the gym, “I want to impress that beautiful girl. Which machine should I use?” The trainer replied… “Use the ATM machine outside the gym!” Read More »

Republican or Democrat?

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, “Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.” The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, “You’re ... Read More »

The robbery

Two friends, Jim and Paul are in a bank, when, suddenly, armed robbers burst in. While several of the robbers take the money from the tellers, others line the customers up against a wall and proceed to take their wallets, watches, etc. While this is going on, Jim slips something into Paul’s hand. Without looking down, Paul whispers, “What is ... Read More »

Partial disability

A man was being interviewed for a job. “Were you in the service?” the interviewer asks. “Yes, I was a Marine,” responds the applicant. “Did you see any active duty?” “I was in Vietnam for two years and I have a partial disability.” “May I ask what happened?” “Well, I had a grenade go off between my legs and I ... Read More »

Rules

A couple were married and, following the wedding, the husband laid down some rules. “I’ll be home when I want, if I want, and at what time I want,” he insisted. “And, I don’t expect any hassle from you. Also, I expect a decent meal to be on the table every evening, unless I tell you otherwise. I’ll go hunting, ... Read More »

What to get the wife with everything!

Did you hear about the fellow that was talking to his buddy, and he said, “I don’t know what to get my wife for her birthday. She has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants, so I’m stumped.” His buddy said, “I have an idea. Why don’t you make up a certificate that says she can ... Read More »

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