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Monthly Archives: September 2015

The Umbrella

A 90-year-old man said to his doctor, “I’ve never felt better. I have an 18-year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?” The doctor considered his question for a minute and then said, “I have an elderly friend who is a hunter and never misses a season. One day when he was going out ... Read More »

Try To Spell That Name

A traffic Policeman recently stopped a woman for exceeding the posted speed limit. He asked the driver her name. She said, “I’m Mrs. Chadivaler Zuminskagia Ragretumunga from the Republic of Uzbetikan visiting my sister in Columbia.” As she finished speaking the cop paused for a moment and then put away his summons book and pen, and said, “Well… OK… but ... Read More »

Send my luggage

Passenger to Airline Ticket Agent: I want my brown suitcase sent to Los Angeles, my green suitcase sent to Kansas City, and my tan suitcase sent to New Orleans. Ticket Agent: I’m sorry, sir; this flight is to Nashville. We can’t do that. Passenger: Why not ? You did it last time. Read More »

The Lord Will Save Me!

It rained for days and days and there was a terrific flood. The water rose so high that one man was forced to climb on top of his roof and sat in the rain. As the waters came up higher a man in a rowboat came up to the house and told him to get in. “No thank you, the ... Read More »

The penguin

A guy found a penguin and showed him to a policeman. The policeman said, “Take that penguin to the zoo, now.” Next day the policeman sees the man with the penguin again. The policeman stops the guy and says, I told you yesterday to take the penguin to the Zoo, what on earth are you doing with the penguin in ... Read More »

Drunk driver?

A cop waited outside a popular pub hoping to nab a drink-driver. At closing time, as everyone came out, he spotted his potential quarry. The man was so obviously inebriated that he could barely walk. He stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes looking for his car. After trying his keys on five others, he finally found his ... Read More »

A little boy sits on Santa’s

A little boy sits on Santa’s lap. Santa says, “I bet I know what you want for Christmas,” and with his finger he taps the boys nose with every letter he spells “T-O-Y-S.” The little boy thinks a second and says, “No, I have enough toys.” Santa replies once again tapping the boys nose with every letter, “C-A-N-D-Y.” Again the ... Read More »

Degrees….

The graduate with a science degree asks, ‘Why does it work?’ The graduate with an engineering degree asks, ‘How does it work?’ The graduate with an accounting degree asks, ‘How much will it cost?’ The graduate with a liberal arts degree asks, ‘Do you want fries with that?’ Read More »

Young and beautiful

A man and his wife received a letter from their daughter who went to study overseas: My beloved Parents, I miss you so much. I don’t know when I’m coming home, but it seems not anytime soon. It breaks my heart to think that by the time I get back you’ll be too old. So enclosed you will find a ... Read More »

Special Delivery

It was mailman George’s last day on the job after 35 years of delivering the mail through all kinds of weather. When he arrived at the first house on his route, the whole family came out, roundly congratulated him, and sent him on his way with a tidy gift envelope. At the second house they presented him with a box ... Read More »

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