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Monthly Archives: October 2015

Shakespeare’s Lesson

A young lad and his mother were walking down the street one day when suddenly the boy yelled out excitedly, “Mother, Mother, Look at that bowlegged man!” His mother immediately hushed him explaining it was not polite to make fun of bowlegged people. The next day the same thing happened. “Look mother, there’s that bowlegged man!” The mother grabbed the ... Read More »

Last Name!!!

The manager of a large office noticed a new man one day and told him to come into his office. “What is your name?” was the first thing the manager asked the new guy. “Bobby,” the new guy replied. The manager scowled, “Look… I don’t know what kind of a namby-pamby place you worked before, but I don’t call anyone ... Read More »

Anything like this before?!

A man decided to paint the toilet while his wife was away. His wife came home sooner than he expected, used the toilet, and got the seat stuck to her rear. She was understandably distraught about this and asked her husband to drive her to the doctor. She put a large overcoat on to cover the seat before they went. ... Read More »

How do you mean?

A little girl was out with her Grandmother when they came across a couple of dogs mating on the sidewalk. “What are they doing, Grandma?” asked the little girl. The grandmother was embarrassed, so she said, “The dog on top has hurt his paw, and the one underneath is carrying him to the doctor.” “They’re just like people, aren’t they ... Read More »

Slogans….

A class professor was giving a lecture on company slogans and was asking his students if they were familiar with them. “Joe,” he asked, “which company has the slogan, ‘come fly the friendly skies’?” Joe answered the correct airline. “Brenda, can you tell me which company has the slogan, “Don’t leave home without it?” Brenda answered the correct credit card ... Read More »

The Tooth Brush Salesman

The kids filed into class Monday morning. They were all very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on salesmanship. Little Sally led off. “I sold Girl Scout cookies and I made $30” she said proudly, “My sales approach was to appeal to the customer’s civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious ... Read More »

Lord, Don’t Let Me Be Late!

A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, “Dear Lord, please don’t let me be late! Dear Lord, please don’t let me be late!”As she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes dirty ... Read More »

Forgive Me Father

About a month ago, a man in Amsterdam felt that he needed to confess, so he went to his priest, “Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. During WWII I hid a refugee in my attic.” “Well,” answered the priest, “that’s not a sin.”‘ “But I made him agree to pay me 200 Euros for every week he stayed.” “I ... Read More »

How did you guess?

The teacher noticed that Johnny had been daydreaming for a long time. She decided to get his attention.”Johnny,” she said, “If the world is 25,000 miles around and eggs are sixty cents a dozen, how old am I? “Thirty-four,” Johnny answered unhesitatingly. The teacher replied “Well, that’s not far from my actual age. Tell me…how did you guess?” Oh, there’s ... Read More »

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