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Monthly Archives: December 2015

A woman and her son were takin…

A woman and her son were taking a cab in New York City. It was raining and all the hookers were standing under the awnings. “Mommy,” said the little boy, “what are all those ladies doing?” “They’re waiting for their husbands to get off of work,” she replied. The cabbie turns around and says, “Geez lady, why don’t you tell ... Read More »

Hot Dog!

Two Scottish nuns have just arrived in USA by boat and one says to the other, “I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs. “Odd,” her companion replies, “but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do.” Nodding emphatically, the mother superior points to a hot dog vendor and they ... Read More »

Lawyers On A Flight

An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing. A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready. “All set back here, Captain,” came the reply, “except the lawyers are still going around passing ... Read More »

Most Obedient

There was a father who called his 5 small children together. As they sat together in a circle on the floor the dad placed a toy in the middle. He explained to them that he won this toy as a door prize and he wanted to give it to one of them. He asked them, “who is the most obedient?” ... Read More »

Before we go any further

The guy says, before we go any further, I should warn you that I’m hung like a baby. His new husband looked a bit disappointed, but then said well thats ok, now I have something to tell you. This isn’t really my penis, I use a little padding. He takes his clothes off and sure enough he is as small ... Read More »

Your Mother is always with you

Your Mother is always with you. She’s the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street, she’s the smell of certain foods you remember, flowers you pick, the fragrance of life itself. She’s the cool hand on your brow when you’re not feeling well, she’s your breath in the air on a cold winter’s day. She is the ... Read More »

Growing Wild

Here is this guy who really takes care of his body; he lifts weights and jogs five miles every day. One morning, he looks into the mirror and admires his body. He notices that he is really sun tanned all over except one part and he decides to do something about it. He goes to the beach, completely undresses and ... Read More »

How did you manage?

Reporter: “So you are 100 years old. How did you manage to live so long?” Old man: “Well, son, I got married when I was 21. The wife and I decided that if we had arguments, the loser would take a long walk to get over being mad. I suppose I have been benefitted most by 79 years of fresh ... Read More »

The Snail

A man was sitting in his house when he heard a tapping on the door. He went to see who it was. He opened the door and looked around he then heard a tiny voice, “Hey mister, could you lend me 10 bucks?” The man looked down and saw a snail sitting on his porch. He said, “What do you ... Read More »

Bring on Your Rats

The proprietor of the general store at the cross-roads had his place overrun by rats, and the damage was such that he offered a hundred dollars reward to anyone who would rid him of the pests. A disreputable-appearing person turned up one morning, and announced that he was a professional rat-killer. “Get to work,” the store-keeper urged. “I must have ... Read More »

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