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Monthly Archives: January 2016

How You Earned It!

A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money. The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, “Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel. “I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end ... Read More »

What is the Answer?

One night four college students were out partying late night and did’t study for the test which was scheduled for the next day. In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look dirty with grease and dirt. They then went up to the Dean and said that they had gone out to a wedding last night and ... Read More »

The Priest and the Hair Dryer

A distinguished young woman on a flight from Switzerland asked the priest beside her, “Father, may I ask a favour?” “Of course. What may I do for you?” “Well, I bought an expensive electronic hair dryer that is well over the customs limits and I’m afraid they’ll confiscate it. Is there anyway you could carry it through Customs for me? ... Read More »

Stop or Slow Down

A policeman pulled over a car, walked up to the driver’s window, and asked the man if he knew why he was pulled over. “No,” the man replied. “You failed to stop at the stop sign,” the cop explained. “But I did slow down!” the guy argued. The cop shook his head. “You are required to stop. That’s why they’re ... Read More »

Traffic Court

A woman was found guilty in traffic court and when asked for her occupation she said she was a schoolteacher. The judge rose from the bench. “Madam, I have waited years for a schoolteacher to appear before this court.” He smiled with delight. “Now sit down at that table and write, ‘I will not run a red light’ five hundred ... Read More »

Struggling in the Gym

A woman on the phone to her friend… I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor’s permission to join a fitness club and start exercising! I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I ... Read More »

Daddy’s Trick

The little boy greeted his grandmother with a hug and said, “I’m so happy to see you grandma. Now maybe daddy will do the trick he has been promising us.” The grandmother was curious. “What trick is that my dear,” she asked. The little boy replied, “I heard daddy tell mommy that he would climb the walls if you came ... Read More »

Amateur Cook Book

MONDAY: Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some extra bowls. TUESDAY: Fruit salad for supper. The recipe said serve without dressing. So I didn’t dress. What a surprise when my friends came over for supper. WEDNESDAY: A good day for rice. The recipe said wash ... Read More »

Foul Mouthed Parrot

A man went to a pet shop looking to buy a parrot. The shop had several parrots but one was priced much lower than the others. When the man asked why one was so much cheaper than the others, the pet shop owner assured the man that he did not want the cheaper one because it had a very foul ... Read More »

Baby’s First Doctor Visit

A woman and a baby were in the doctor’s examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby’s first exam. The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breastfed or bottle-fed. “Breastfed”, she replied. “Well, strip down to your waist”, the doctor ordered. She did. ... Read More »

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