January 2016

Monthly Archives

Latest stories

  • Pessimist vs Optimist

    A family had twin boys whose only resemblance to each other was their looks. If one felt it was too hot, the other thought it was too cold. If one said the TV was too loud, the other claimed the volume needed to be turned up. Opposite in every way, one was an eternal optimist, […] More

  • Post Turtles

    While stitching a cut on the hand of a 75 year old veteran, whose hand was caught in the squeeze gate of the military hospital, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around to generals and their role as our leaders. The old veteran said, “Well, as I […] More

  • A boy with a monkey

    A boy with a monkey on his shoulder was walking down the road when he passed a policeman who said, “Now, now young lad, I think you had better take that monkey the zoo.” The next day, the boy was walking down the road with the monkey on his shoulder again, when he passed the […] More

  • Waiting for love…

    A fellow in a bar notices a woman, always alone, come in on a fairly regular basis. After the second week, he made his move. “No thank you.” she said politely. “This may sound rather odd in this day and age, but I’m keeping myself pure until I meet the man I love.” “That must […] More

  • Traffic Court

    A woman was found guilty in traffic court and when asked for her occupation she said she was a schoolteacher. The judge rose from the bench. “Madam, I have waited years for a schoolteacher to appear before this court.” He smiled with delight. “Now sit down at that table and write, ‘I will not run […] More

  • Struggling in the Gym

    A woman on the phone to her friend… I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor’s permission to join a fitness club and start exercising! I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. […] More

  • Did you see me?

    A man walks in a bank, pulls out a gun, and robs the bank… Then he turns around and asks the next customer in line, “Did you see me rob this bank?” The customer replies, “YES!” The robber raises his gun, points to his head and BANG!!!!!… shoots him in the head and kills him! […] More

  • Food for Thought

    An old lady, a difficult independent, use to sit on a bench in a park to feed the pigeons. One day, she brought with her a whole bun of fresh bread just to feed her daily company. Little by little, pinch by pinch, she fed each pigeon with joy. Then suddenly a man in his […] More

  • Daddy’s Trick

    The little boy greeted his grandmother with a hug and said, “I’m so happy to see you grandma. Now maybe daddy will do the trick he has been promising us.” The grandmother was curious. “What trick is that my dear,” she asked. The little boy replied, “I heard daddy tell mommy that he would climb […] More

  • Amateur Cook Book

    MONDAY: Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some extra bowls. TUESDAY: Fruit salad for supper. The recipe said serve without dressing. So I didn’t dress. What a surprise when my friends came over for supper. WEDNESDAY: A good day for […] More

  • Cat at school

    The teacher asked Jimmy, “Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?” Jimmy replied crying, “Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, ‘I am going to eat that p*ssy once Jimmy leaves for school today!’” More

  • WW, WA, and ATR

    A guy walks into a bathroom, sits down, and notices three buttons in front of him marked, WW, WA, and ATR. Curiosity gets the better of him so he decides to press WW. Suddenly, warm water sprays up his rear. “Mmmm,” he says to himself. “That was good.” So he presses WA and a jet […] More

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