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Monthly Archives: July 2016

He Told Me

In a psychiatrist’s waiting room two patients are having a conversation. One says to the other, “Why are you here?” The second answers, “I’m Napoleon, so the doctor told me to come here.” The first is curious and asks, “How do you know that you’re Napoleon?” The second responds, “God told me I was.” At this point, a patient on ... Read More »

Pinkie Pinkerton

Pinkie Pinkerton lived in a pink one story house on Pink Street. The walls were pink, the roof was pink, the carpet was pink, the flowers were pink, the pictures were pink, the furniture was pink, the bathroom was pink, her stuff was pink, the yard was pink, even her cat was pink. EVERYTHING was pink. So what color were ... Read More »

Blind date

After being with his blind date all evening, the man couldn’t take another minute with her. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave if something like this happened. When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, ... Read More »

What human body part

The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, “What human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?” No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, “You should not be asking sixth-graders a question like that! I’m going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire ... Read More »

The small rabbit

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, ‘Can I also sit like you and do nothing?’The eagle answered: ‘Sure, why not.’ So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it. Moral ... Read More »

Freud’s patient..

One of Sigmund Freud’s early patients rushed out into an Austrian afternoon on her way to meet her best friend at a coffee house. Over Cappuccino and Viennese pastries, she suddenly burst out crying. Her friend begged her to share what was wrong. “Oh, it’s just terrible,” she wailed. “Today the doctor told me I’m in love with my father, ... Read More »

The Supportive Younger Brother

Mary was having a tough day and had stretched herself out on the couch to do a bit of what she thought to be well deserved complaining and self-pitying. She moaned to her mom and her younger brother, “Nobody loves me…the whole world hates me!” Her brother, busily occupied playing a game, hardly looked up at her and passed on ... Read More »

Arm troubles

A man went to visit his doctor. “Doc, my arm hurts bad. Can you check it out please?” the man pleads. The doctor rolls up the man’s sleeve and suddenly hears the arm talk. “Hello, Doctor,” says the arm. “Could you lend me twenty bucks please? I’m desperate!” “Aha!” says the doctor. ”I see the problem. Your arm is broke!” Read More »

Guess who

A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing “Love” stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity gets the better of him and he goes up to the balding ... Read More »

A trip to the doctor

A woman and her husband go to the doctor because the woman is complaining of shortness of breath. After fifteen minutes, the woman comes out into the waiting room and says, “Apparently, my problem is that I have a nice cooter.” “Excuse me?” says the husband. “That’s what the doctor said. My problem is that I have a nice cooter.” ... Read More »

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