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Monthly Archives: September 2016

How much

When a fellow called a motel and asked how much they charged for a room, the clerk told him that the rates depended on room size and number of people. “Do you take children?” the man asked. “No, sir,” replied the clerk. “Only cash and credit cards.” Read More »

Some tips

A newly ordained priest, nervous about hearing confessions, finally asks an older priest to observe how he does and give some tips. After listening in on the second confession, the older priest suggested that the younger man fold his arms, maybe rub his chin with one hand while saying phrases like “I see” or “I understand” or “Yes, my child. ... Read More »

Two Shepherds

Two shepherds lean on their crooks at the end of a long day and the first asks the second, “So, how’s it going?” The second one sighed and shook his head, “Not good, I can’t pay my bills, my health isn’t good, my kids don’t respect me, and my wife is leaving me.” The first replied, “Well, don’t lose any ... Read More »

How did you..

John Smith lived in Staten Island, New York and worked in Manhattan. He had to take the ferryboat home every night. One evening, he got down to the ferry and found there was a wait for the next boat, so John decided to stop at a nearby tavern. Before long he was feeling no pain. When he got back to ... Read More »

Try that

Dear Boss, I have enjoyed working here these past several years. You have paid me very well, given me benefits beyond belief. I have 3-4 months off per year and a pension plan that will pay my salary till the day I die and a health plan that most people can only dream about. Despite this I plan to take ... Read More »

Some hormones

A man went to a GP and complained of listlessness. After a thorough examination, the doctor said, “You ought to try some hormones.” “Like they give to women?” the patient asked, dumbfounded. “Are you serious?” “Everybody uses hormones and for different purposes. They even give them to racehorses,” replied the doctor. The patient agreed to a shot and returned two ... Read More »

Who stole your pig?

Farmer Josh killed a pig and hung it up for the night, intending to butcher it in the morning, but the next day it was gone. He didn’t tell a soul about it, and nothing happened for more than two months. Then another farmer, who lived down the road, came by and said, “By the way Josh, did you ever ... Read More »

Wish more

A man was on a beach when he discovered an old lamp in the sand. He rubbed it and a genie popped out. The genie said, “I will grant you three wishes. The only condition is that you cannot wish for more wishes.” “Alright,” said the man, “I wish for more genies.” Read More »

Mrs. Rabbit

“Listen up!” Noah said in a demanding voice. “There will be NO se x on this trip. All of you males, take off your peckers and hand it to my sons. I will sit over there and write you a receipt. After we see land, you can get your peckers back.” After about a week Mr. Rabbit stormed into his ... Read More »

How could possibly reward

A blind man was walking down the street with his dog. They stopped at the corner to wait for the passing traffic. The dog, at this point, started pissing on the man’s leg. As the dog finished the man reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a doggie treat and started waving it at the dog. A passerby saw ... Read More »

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