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Monthly Archives: October 2016

Prayers

A Sunday School teacher asked her pupils, “Now, children, do you all say your prayers at night?” A little boy answered: “My Mommy says my prayers.” “I see,” said the teacher, “and what does your Mother say?” Replied the little boy: “THANK GOD HE’S IN BED!” Read More »

Two liars

Two liars were walking down the road, when one turned to the other and said, “See that cliff there? I jumped off it last night.” And the other replied, “I know… I saw you.” Read More »

Know nothing

At a country-club party a young man was introduced to an attractive girl. Immediately he began paying her court and flattering her outrageously. The girl liked the young man, but she was taken a bit aback by his fast and ardent pitch. She was amazed when after 30 minutes he seriously proposed marriage. “Look,” she said. “We only met a ... Read More »

Burglary trial

The old man was a witness in a burglary trial. The defense lawyer asked Sam, “Did you see my client commit this burglary?” “Yes,” said Sam, “I plainly saw him take the goods.” The lawyer asked again, “Sam, this happened at night. Are you sure you saw my client commit this crime?” “Yes,” said Sam, “I saw him do it.” ... Read More »

Treat a cough

The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall. The owner asks the clerk, “What’s with that guy over there by the wall?” The clerk says, “Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn’t find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle ... Read More »

A Risk For All Seasons

My elderly mother was rushed to the hospital following a serious tumble. There the staff placed a band around her wrist with large letters warning: Fall Risk. Unimpressed, Mom said to me, “I’ll have them know I’m a winter, spring, and summer risk too!” Read More »

Barbershop

A man enters a barbershop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks. “I have just the thing,” says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. “Just place this between your cheek and gum.” The client places the ball in his ... Read More »

Three businessmen

Three businessmen were having dinner at a club. When it came time to pay the check, each grabbed for it. “It’s a business expense,” said one. “I’ll pay,” said the second. “I’m on cost plus.” “Let me have it,” argued the third. “I’m filing for bankruptcy next week.” Read More »

Man of this house

A mild-mannered man was tired of being bossed around by his wife, so he went to a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist said he needed to build his self-esteem and gave him a book on assertiveness, which he read on the way home. He had finished the book by the time he reached his house. The man stormed into the house and ... Read More »

Get there?

Mike came home and found his house on fire, rushed next door, telephoned the fire department and shouted, “Hurry over here. My house is on fire!” “OK,” replied the fireman, “how do we get there?” “Why, don’t you still have those big red fire engines?” Read More »

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