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Monthly Archives: November 2016

Thank you!

A teenager who had just received her learner’s permit for driving offered to drive her parents to church. After a hair-raising ride, they finally reached their destination. “Thank you!” said the mother as she got out of the car and breathed a sigh of relief. “Anytime,” her daughter replied. As the mother closed the door she said, “I wasn’t talking ... Read More »

Fishing secrets

There was a competition between a team of blondes and a team of brunettes to see who could catch the most fish ice fishing. Once the contest started, it was clear that the brunettes were going to win, they kept pulling out fish after fish. Soon, the blondes got worried and sent over one of their team to see what ... Read More »

Friend call

After being with a new girl all evening, the man couldn’t take another minute with her. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave if something like this happened. When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, ... Read More »

Think!

In the men’s room at work, the Boss had placed a sign directly above the sink. It had a single word on it — “Think!” The next day, when he went to the men’s room, he looked at the sign and right below, immediately above the soap dispenser, someone had carefully lettered another sign which read — “Thoap!” Read More »

The Usual Tip

Johnny paid his way through college by being a waiter in a restaurant. “What’s the usual tip?” asked a customer. “Well,” said Johnny, “this is my first day, but the other guys said that, if I got five dollars out of you, I’d be doing great.” “Is that so?” growled the customer. “In that case, here’s twenty dollars.” “Thanks. I’ll ... Read More »

Don’t move until..

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door. “Hurry!” she said, “stand in the corner.” She quickly rubbed baby oil all over him and then she dusted him with talcum powder. “Don’t move until I tell you to,” she whispered. “Just pretend you’re a statue.” “What’s this, honey?” the husband inquired ... Read More »

Sergeants

Two boys from the mountains, Leroy and Jasper have been promoted from privates to sergeants. Not long after, they’re out for a walk and Leroys says, “Hey, Jasper, there’s the NCO Club. Let’s you and me stop in.” “But we’s privates,” protests Jasper. “We’s sergeants now,” says Leroy, pulling him inside. “Now, Jasper, I’m a-gonna sit down and have me ... Read More »

But poor Mom..

When the Jones family moved into their new house, a visiting relative asked five-year-old Sammy how he liked the new place. “It’s terrific,” he said. “I have my own room, Mike has his own room, and Jamie has her own room… But poor Mom is still in with Dad.” Read More »

Highly Religious Horse

There’s this guy who had been lost and walking in the desert for about 2 weeks. One hot day, he sees the home of a missionary. Tired and weak, he crawls up to the house and collapses on the doorstep. The missionary finds him and nurses him back to health. Feeling better, the man asks the missionary for directions to ... Read More »

Just Part of My Job

A salesman dropped in to see a business customer. Not a soul was in the office except a big dog emptying wastebaskets. The salesman stared at the animal, wondering if his imagination could be playing tricks on him. The dog looked up and said, “Don’t be surprised. This is just part of my job.” “Incredible!” exclaimed the man. “I can’t ... Read More »

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