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Monthly Archives: November 2016

I thought..

A policeman was checking up about a robbery in a home. The policeman asked the lady of the house, “This is the messiest room I ever saw. You should have reported the robbery right away.” The woman said, “I didn’t know it was a robbery. I thought my husband had been looking for a clean shirt!” Read More »

Give Her What She Wants

Wife asks her husband to pass her a newspaper. He replies, “Newspaper? Are yo really that behind reality? Technology has developed so much and you are still asking for the newspaper? Here, take my iPad instead.” The wife takes the iPad and uses it to kill a cockroach. Her husband faints. Read More »

A student cheating

A teacher caught a student cheating on his Botany exam and brought him into the principal’s office. “Miss Smith,” asked the principal. “How do you know Johnny was cheating?” “Because,” replied Miss Smith, “I found that he had 7 flowers tucked inside his jacket and a bunch of pollen up his sleeve. This makes me very concerned about tomorrow’s exam ... Read More »

Footprint

A man sitting at a lunch counter has just been served his food when he calls the waiter back. “Waiter,” he says, “can you explain why there is a footprint in the middle of this food that I ordered?” “Yes, sir,” replies the waiter. “You rushed in here, asked for a large omelet and told me to step on it.” Read More »

Lottery

Two old married men chatting in a bar. First man says, “Have you ever thought that marriage was a bit of a lottery?” The second man replied, “Not at all. At least you have a slight chance with a lottery.” Read More »

For posterity

When her husband passed away, the wife put the usual death notice in the newspaper, but added that he had died of gonoṛṛhoea. Once the daily newspapers had been delivered, a good friend of the family phoned and complained bitterly, “You know very well that he died of diarrhea, not gonoṛṛhoea.” Replied the widow, “Yes, I know that he died ... Read More »

New clothes

“Hey John, you got yourself new pants and a shirt.” “My wife got them for me.” “Must have been a surprise.” “Sure was. I come home and there they were on a chair in the bedroom!” Read More »

Why ?

A newlywed couple is getting ready for bed when the husband says, “Honey, now that we’re married, it’s okay for me to see your body. Would you open your robe so I can have a look?” She opens her robe and lets her husband see her naked body. And he says, “You are so so so beautiful. Can I get ... Read More »

Is it serious?

The doctor answered the phone and heard the familiar voice of a colleague on the other end of the line. “We need a fourth for poker,” said the friend. “I’ll be right over,” whispered the doctor. As he was putting on his coat, his wife asked, “Is it serious?” “Oh yes, quite serious,” said the doctor gravely. “In fact, there ... Read More »

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