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Monthly Archives: November 2016

Daddy’s Hair

Little Johnny was eating breakfast one morning and got to thinking about things. “Mommy, mommy, why has daddy got so few hairs on his head?” he asked his mother. “He thinks a lot,” replied his mother, pleased with herself for coming up with a good answer to her husband’s baldness. Or she was until Johnny thought for a second and ... Read More »

Golden Saloon

A guy comes home completely drunk one night. He lurches through the door and is met by his scowling wife, who is most definitely not happy. “Where the hell have you been all night?” she demands. “At this new bar,” he says. “The Golden Saloon. Everything there is golden. It’s got huge golden doors, a golden floor and even the ... Read More »

Three girls at once

A guy walks into a pharmacy and says to the pharmacist, “Listen, I have three girls coming over tonight. I’ve never had three girls at once, and I need something to keep me horny and potent.” The pharmacist reaches under the counter, unlocks the bottom drawer, and takes out a small cardboard box marked with a label, “Ṿiagra Extra Strength,” ... Read More »

I tried..

An 85-year-old man went to his doctor’s office to get a sperṃ count.The doctor gave the man a jar and said, “Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.” The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor’s office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The ... Read More »

Thirty..

Doctor to patient’s husband: “I’m sorry. We did all that was humanly possible but we just can’t wake her from her coma. It doesn’t look good I’m afraid.” “But doctor, she’s so young. She’s only thirty-nine.” Upon which the comatose wife said weakly… “Thirty-seven.” Read More »

Confidence

A burglar, needing money to pay his income taxes, decided to rob the safe in a store. On the safe door he was very pleased to find a note reading: “Please don’t use dynamite. The safe is not locked. Just turn the knob.” He did so. Instantly a heavy sandbag fell on him, the entire premises were floodlighted, and alarms ... Read More »

Waiting…

Jim was startled to see the nonchalant way Jon was taking the fact that his lady love was seen with another man. “You said you love her and yet you saw her with another man and you didn’t knock the guy down?” “I’m waiting,” Jon said. “Waiting for what?” asked Jim. “Waiting to catch her with a smaller man.” Read More »

The Statue

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door. “Hurry!” she said. “Stand in the corner.” She quickly rubbed baby oil all over him and then she dusted him with talcum powder. “Don’t move until I tell you to,” she whispered. “Just pretend you’re a statue.” “What’s this honey?” the husband inquired ... Read More »

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