2016

Yearly Archives

Latest stories

  • Magic trick

    After tucking their three-year-old child Sammy in for bed one night, his parents heard sobbing coming from his room. Rushing back in, they found him crying hysterically. He managed to tell them that he had swallowed a penny and he was sure he was going to die. No amount of talking was helping. His father, […] More

  • A new mother

    A new mother went to the psychiatrist worried. “Doctor,” she said, “Since I had the baby I can’t sleep at night. When I’m in the next room, I have this dreadful fear that I won’t hear the baby if he falls out of the crib at night. What should I do?” “Easy,” said the doctor. […] More

  • Special gift

    An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring and showed it to him. The old man […] More

  • A Mental Hospital

    After hearing that one of the patients in a mental hospital had saved another from a suicide attempt by pulling him out of a bathtub, the hospital director reviewed the rescuer’s file and called him into his office. “Mr. Haroldson, your records and your heroic behavior indicate that you’re ready to go home. I’m only […] More

  • So how’s it..

    Pinocchio and his girlfriend were having problems. Every time they would do it, she would complain about splinters, so Pinocchio went to Geppetto about the problem. Geppetto told Pinocchio to go to the hardware store and buy some sandpaper to sand off the splinters before he had se x with his girlfriend. A week later, […] More

  • Please give me

    A beggar came to a pedestrian in the morning on a Liverpool Street and demanded, “Sir, Please give me six pounds, I need to drink coffee.” The pedestrian recognized him as some big shot business man and asked, “Coffee costs three pounds. Why do you need six pounds?” The beggar says, “Well, I need to […] More

  • Play Mommie and Daddy

    Little Johnny rushes home from school. He invades the fridge and is scooping out some cherry vanilla ice cream when his mother enters the kitchen. She says, “Put that away Johnny! You can’t have ice cream now. It’s too close to supper time. Go outside and play.” Johnny whimpers and says, “There’s no one to […] More

  • My husband hair is..

    There are 3 wives who want to decide what to wear to a party. The first one says, “My husband has black hair, I will wear black dress.” The second says, “My husband hair is grey, and I will wear a grey dress.” The third one gets worried and starts panicking. When asked she says, […] More

  • Improved

    “Ever since we got married, my wife has tried to change me. She got me to stop drinking, smoking, running around at all hours of the night and more. She taught me how to dress well, enjoy the fine arts, gourmet cooking, classical music and how to invest in the stock market.” “Sounds like you […] More

  • Very stressful job

    Nurse: Your blood pressure is amazingly high. Is your job very stressful? Patient: Well, I work at a petting zoo. Nurse: That seems easy enough. Patient: I determine which animals are too vicious to be petted. More

  • I’m done for

    A shipwreck survivor washes up on the beach of an island and is immediately surrounded by a group of native warriors. “I’m done for”, the man cries in despair. “No you are not,” comes a booming voice from the heavens. “Listen carefully, and do exactly as I say. Grab the spear from the one who […] More

  • Two drunks

    Two drunks are driving down the road drinking beer. All of a sudden they see a police car lights flashing in the rear view mirror. “What are we going to do?” asks the drunk passenger. “Don’t worry, I know what to do. Peel the label off your bottle and stick it to your forehead. Let […] More

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