February 2017

Monthly Archives

Latest stories

  • Do the same thing

    A boss called one of his workers into the office. “Now listen, Simms, you’re going to have to pull your socks up or I’ll have to sack you. For the past few weeks you’ve been constantly late, you’ve made silly mistakes and you’ve not been civil to your fellow workers. What do you have to say for yourself?” “I’m […] More

  • I don’t know

    The young man was obsessed by the beautiful secretary in his office. He just had to kiss her and touch her body and … One day, he plucked up the courage to speak to her. “I think you’re so gorgeous, if I paid you $250, would you come into the storeroom with me so that I can […] More

  • Following instructions

    A woman brought her baby to see the Doctor, and he determined right away that the baby had an earache. He wrote a prescription for ear drops. In the directions he wrote, “Put two drops in right ear every four hours” and he abbreviated “right” as an R with a circle around it. Several days […] More

  • Remember

    A mother was having a tea party on the lawn with her children. A neighbor said, “How can you find time for a tea party when you have three small kids?” She smile and said, “They’ll always remember our tea parties, but they’ll never remember if their clothes were ironed or clean!” More

  • It’s For The Dog

    When our client’s dog lapped up anti-freeze, the veterinarian I work for ordered a unique treatment… an IV drip mixing fluids with vodka. “Go buy the cheapest bottle you can find,” he told me. At the liquor store, I was uneasy buying cheap booze so early in the day, and I felt compelled to explain […] More

  • Take them to the zoo!

    A police officer sees a man driving around with a pickup truck full of penguins. He pulls the guy over and says, “You can’t drive around with penguins in this town! Take them to the zoo immediately.” The guy obliges and drives away. The next day, the officer sees the same guy driving around with […] More

  • Lamaze Class

    A couple just started their Lamaze class and they were given an activity requiring the husband to wear a bag of sand to give him an idea of what it feels like to be pregnant. The husband stood up and shrugged saying, “This doesn’t feel so bad.” The instructor then dropped a pen and asked […] More

  • 40th birthday

    A man asked his wife what she’d like for her 40th birthday. “I’d love to be six again,” she replied. On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a local theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the […] More

  • The Anxious Poodle

    Poodle: “My life is a mess. My owner is mean, my girlfriend is leaving me for a German shepherd, and I’m as nervous as a cat.” Collie: “Why don’t you go see a psychiatrist?” Poodle: “I can’t. I’m not allowed on the couch.” More

  • Why did you laugh?

    There were three men who got stranded on an island. A group of cannibals found the three men and took them to their place in the tropical rainforest of an island. The cannibals told the three men to go in the rainforest and find ten of the same fruits each. So the three of them […] More

  • Old Crush!

    A husband takes the wife to a night club. There’s a guy on the dance floor giving it big time. Break dancing, moon walking, back flips, the works! The wife turns to her husband and says, “See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down!” The husband says, “Looks […] More

  • Mental Hospital

    A mental hospital was critically overcrowded. The doctor decides to get all the patients seated in one large room to conduct a test to see how many they discharge that day. At the front of the room, the Doctors took some chalk and drew a full-size door on a Blackboard and offered ice cream to […] More

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