March, 2017 | Hot Jokes

What are 4, 2, 28 and 44?

The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn’t paying attention in class. She called on him and said, “Johnny! What are 4, 2, 28 and 44?” Little Johnny quickly replied, “NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!” More

Anything to repay you

A very horny guy is stranded on an island with a monkey. After a while, he decides to have s*x with the monkey, but the monkey continually slips out of his grip and runs away. One day, a very attractive girl is drowning in the ocean and the guy saves her. She says, “I’ll do […] More

Smokey Dinner Call

My cooking has always been the target of family jokes. One evening, as I prepared dinner a bit too quickly, the kitchen filled with smoke and the smoke detector went off. Although both of my children had received fire-safety training at school, they did not respond to the alarm. Annoyed, I stormed through the house […] More

The nurse

“What do you do?” a young man asked the beautiful girl he was dancing with. “I’m a nurse.” “I wish I could be ill and let you nurse me,” he whispered in her ear. “That would be miraculous. I work on the maternity ward.” More

Two jobs

In order to pay his medical school tuition, a student was working two jobs over the summer. One was as a butcher’s assistant and the other as a hospital orderly, both jobs that required the young man wear a long white coat. One night he was wheeling a woman into surgery when she sat up […] More

Original Colors

Teacher : Which is the oldest animal? Student : The zebra. Teacher : How come? Student : Because it’s still in black & white. More

One Will Do

A kid asked his mother, “Mom, can you buy me those two toys that we had seen at the store the other day?” His mother replied, “I will buy you one of them. One is enough to keep you busy at playtime.” Later that day, the kid started doing his homework. The mother said, “Remember […] More

Rounding Up for A Better Start

My sister decided to go on a diet, and that first evening she phoned me. I could tell her mouth was full, so I asked her what she was eating. “A cupcake,” she mumbled. “I just got on the scale, and it read 149 1/2 pounds. I decided that was no place to start a […] More

No Labor Required

When my friend got a job, her husband agreed to share the housework. He was stunned by the amount of effort involved in keeping a house clean with small boys to pick up after, and insisted that he and his wife shop for a new vacuum cleaner. The salesman gave them a demonstration of the […] More

End of the Honeymoon

Mr. Sharma: ”When I die, love, I want to be cremated.” Mrs. Sharma: ”That is a good idea, dear. The gold in your teeth ought to pay all the expenses.” More

Lunch Break

When a squirrel slipped into my house, I did the logical thing: I panicked and called my father. “How do you get a squirrel out of a basement?” I shrieked. Dad advised me to leave a trail of peanut butter and crackers from the basement to the outside. It worked—the squirrel ate his way out […] More

One is enough