April 2017

Monthly Archives

Latest stories

  • Home Improvement

    Kathy goes to her local bank, walks into the manager’s office, and says, “I want a loan. I am going to divorce my husband.” “Oh, we don’t give loans for divorces,” the manager says. “We offer loans only for things like real estate, appliances, automobiles, businesses, and home improvement.” Kathy interrupts: “Stop right there. This […] More

  • Would you swap me?

    Sarah was reading a newspaper, while her husband was engrossed in a magazine. Suddenly, she burst out laughing. “Listen to this,” she said. “There’s a classified ad here where a guy is offering to swap his wife for a season ticket to the stadium.” “Hmmm,” her husband said, not looking up from his magazine. Teasing […] More

  • Carpet Installation and… replacement

    A man was carpeting his living room, and once finished, he couldn’t find his pack of cigarettes. Then he saw the lump in the middle of the carpet. He decided he didn’t want to pull up the new carpet for one pack of smokes, so he took his hammer and pounded the lump flat. His […] More

  • Another drink?

    One night in Paris, an American tourist dropped into a pavement cafe late one night and, after a couple of drinks, realized he was the last person in the bar except for a man sleeping at one of the tables. The man called the proprietor over and asked for his bill. “Would monsieur care for […] More

  • Scavenger hunt

    A woman answered her front door and saw a little boy holding a list. “Ma’am,” he explained, “I’m on a scavenger hunt, and I still need three grains of wheat, a pork-chop bone and a piece of used carbon paper so I can earn a dollar.” “Wow,” the woman replied. “Who sent you on such […] More

  • What’s Your Name?

    After crossing the road, the chicken goes up to James Bond and asks him, “What’s your name?” “Bond, James Bond. What is yours?” “Ken, Chick Ken.” More

  • Now I know..

    A father took his small daughter to Disneyworld. When they arrived, the little girl headed straight for the space mountain rollercoaster and rode it twice. The following year, they returned to the park and the father took the girl to space mountain. She hesitated for a moment, then said to her father that she wouldn’t […] More

  • Reason for Being Together

    A couple decided to celebrate their 25th wedding anniversary by hosting a big party. The wife was excited and asked her husband what he thought was the bond that kept them together throughout the years. His reply, “Our marriage certificate, dear.” More

  • Small head

    An old man with a cue ball sized head is sitting at the bar. “Excuse me,” says the guy next to him. “I don’t mean to be rude, but I noticed you have an extremely small head. Is that a birth defect?” The old man says, “No my ship was torpedoed by the Germans in […] More

  • 370HSSV-0773H

    Last week Putin received a coded message, reportedly from Ukrainian Parliament. It read: 370HSSV-0773H Putin was stumped and asked his Prime minister what the message could mean. The minister was totally stumped too, so they passed it to the top russian programmers, who spent 2 days trying to decipher it. Knackered, the programmers sent it […] More

  • Pay with a smile!

    “I hate paying my income tax.” “You should be a good citizen – why don’t you pay with a smile?” “I’d like to but they insist on money!” More

  • What do you have?

    A man walked into a Doctor’s office. “What do you have?” the receptionist asked. “Shingles,” he replied. She told him to sit down. Soon a nurse called him and asked, “What do you have?” “Shingles,” he replied. She took his blood pressure, weight, and complete medical history. Then she took him to a room and […] More

Load More
Congratulations. You've reached the end of the internet.