2017

Yearly Archives

Latest stories

  • Technical fault

    A priest, a drunkard, and an engineer were all being led to the guillotine to be executed. They ask the priest if he wants to face upward or downward when he meets his fate. The priest says that he would like to die face up, so that he will be looking toward heaven when he […] More

  • Golfing Talent

    Three guys are golfing with the club pro. The first guy tees off and hits a dribbler about 60 yards. He turns to the pro and asks, “What did I do wrong?” The pro says, “Loft.” The next guy tees off and hits a duck hook into the woods. He asks the pro, “What did […] More

  • The Lion’s Wedding

    A lion was getting married. At his wedding was a mouse shouting away and congratulating the lion, “All the best my brother…. good luck…..” Seeing the mouse shouting away claiming that the lion getting married is his brother another Lion grabs the mouse and asks, “Who the hell do you think you are? How can […] More

  • In cider

    A little girl cuts her hand on the playground and runs crying to the teacher. She asks the teacher for a glass of cider. “Why do you want a glass of cider?” the teacher asks. “To take away the pain,” sobs the little girl. “What do you mean?” the teacher asks. “Well,” sobs the little […] More

  • Sharing

    A Frenchman, an Englishman, an American man, and a lawyer were sitting on a train. The Frenchman offered everyone some of his baguette, then threw it out the window, saying, “Don’t worry – we have plenty of those where I come from.” The Englishman offered everyone a crumpet, then threw the rest out of the […] More

  • The key to heaven

    Mother Superior called a young novice into her office one evening. ”Now dear, I want you to give the Father his nightly bath. You are to do as he tells you and be sure to report to me in the morning,” she said. The novice agreed to do as she was told and went to […] More

  • Christmas Tree!

    It’s Christmas time and Bill and Joe decided to go look for a Christmas Tree. They gathered their axe, a sled, and a broom to brush the trees off so they can get a good look at them. When they finally reach a fine stand of trees, Joe brushes off the first tree, and stands […] More

  • God’s Help!

    A guy is walking along when suddenly he got his foot caught stuck in some railroad tracks. He tried to get it out but it was really stuck in there well. He heard a noise and turned around to see a train coming. He panicked and started to pray, “God, please get my foot out […] More

  • Dynamite

    There was a costume party at a mental hospital; the theme of the party was “war”. The first person comes up onto the stage and says, “I’m an atomic bomb.” He gets his applause and steps down. The second person comes up and says, “I’m a hydrogen bomb.” Again, there’s applause and he steps down. […] More

  • Working in the Garden

    A prisioner in jail received a letter from his wife: “I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?” The prisioner, knowing that the prison guards read all the mail, replied in a letter: “Dear Wife, whatever you do, DO NOT touch the back garden! […] More

  • Intelligent Car Radio

    A lady bought a new $100,000 Mercedes and proudly drove it off the showroom floor to take home. Halfway home, she attempted to change radio stations and saw that there appeared to be only one station. She immediately turned around and headed back to the dealer. Once at the dealer, she found her salesman and […] More

  • You’re beautiful!

    There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, “You’re beautiful!” and then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side. A couple minutes later […] More

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