About weekends

A pair of men were talking about their weekends.
“I went out last Friday and got drunk out of my mind,” the first man said. “In the morning, I woke up next to this ugly, fat broad who was snoring and grunting.”
“That sounds awful,” the second man replied.
“Not really,” the first man said. “At least I managed to make it home.”

Stomachache

The Morning Dew