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Author Archives: joker

Family of the Groom

At an Easter mass, at which some young ladies were to take their final vows to become nuns, the presiding bishop noticed two rabbis enter the church just before the mass began. They were seated at the back of the sanctuary and insisted on sitting on the right side of the center aisle. The bishop wondered why they had come ... Read More »

Pregnant with twins

A blonde goes to the doctor’s and find out she is pregnant with twins. She starts crying and the doctor asks her what’s wrong. She replies, “I know who the dad is for one of them but I don’t know who the dad is for the other one!” Read More »

Citizen bus tour

On a senior citizen bus tour, the driver was surprised. While the passengers were unloading, to do some sightseeing, one elderly lady stopped and whispered in his ear, “Driver, I believe that I was se_xually harassed!” The driver didn’t think much of this complaint, but promised he would check into it soon. Later, that very same day, as the passengers ... Read More »

Silent

An old couple were sitting in Church and the wife noticed that people were staring at her. She leaned across to her husband and whispered, “I’ve just let go a silent fart. What do you think I should do?” He said, “I think you should get fresh batteries for your hearing aid.” Read More »

Birthday Party

A lady is throwing a party for her granddaughter and had gone all out….. a caterer, band, and a hired clown. Just before the party started, two bums showed up looking for a handout. Feeling sorry for the bums, the woman told them that she would give them a meal if they will help chop some wood for her out ... Read More »

Not to peek

A young woman was preparing for her wedding. She asked her mother to go out and buy a nice long black negligee and carefully place it in her suitcase so it would not wrinkle. Well, Mom forgot until the last minute. So she dashed out and could only find a short pink nightie. She bought it and threw it into ... Read More »

I Need a Job

Job Applicant: “I’m looking for a job as a consultant.” Employer: “I’m sorry, we already have enough consultants.” Applicant: “That’s ok, with my experience, I can be an advisor.” Employer: “More than we can use already.” Applicant: As he is getting desperate, “I’m not proud, I can do paperwork, I’ll be a clerk. If you have too many, I’ll start ... Read More »

Salad for Dinner

I came home from work this evening and said to my wife, “Are we having salad for dinner?” “Yes we are, how did you know?” she asked. I replied, “Because I can’t hear the smoke alarm.” Read More »

Test Performance

Little Anne came running into the house after the school one day, shouting, “Daddy! Daddy! I got 100 in school today!” “That’s great sweetheart!” said her daddy. “Come into the living room and tell me about it,” daddy continued. Little Anne said, “Well, I got 50 in spelling, 30 in math and 20 in science.” Read More »

Parrot In Flight

On reaching his plane seat a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him. He asks the stewardess for a coffee where upon the parrot squawks, “And get me a whiskey!” The stewardess, flustered, brings back a whiskey for the parrot and forgets the coffee. When this omission is pointed out to her the parrot drains ... Read More »

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