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Author Archives: joker

Keeping Warm in the Winter

My husband and I purchased an old home in Northern New York State from two elderly sisters. Winter was fast approaching and I was concerned about the house’s lack of insulation. “If they could live here all those years, so can we!” my husband confidently declared. One January night the temperature plunged to below zero, and we woke up to ... Read More »

What A Husband Remembers

Wife: “You remember when you bought me this blue dress?” Husband: “I don’t remember.” Wife: “It was on my birthday! And this red gown?” Husband: “On your birthday?” Wife: “No… on our anniversary! Don’t you remember?” Husband: “Honey, I’m not good at remembering colors or dresses. I better at remembering prices, those I remember very well!” Read More »

Love Letters From Grandpa

My grandmother told me how she ended up marrying Grandpa. She was in her 20’s, and the man she was dating left for war. “We were in love,” she recalled, “and wrote to each other every week. It was during that time that I discovered how wonderful your grandfather was.” “Did you marry Grandpa when he came home from the ... Read More »

Missing Dog

An old farmer is inconsolable after his dog goes missing. He takes out an ad in the newspaper, but two weeks later, there’s still no sign of the mutt. “What did you write in the ad?” his wife asks. “Here, boy,” he replies. Read More »

Elevator pinch

As the crowded elevator descended, Mrs. Wilson became increasingly furious with her husband, who was delighted to be pressed against a gorgeous blonde. As the elevator stopped at the main floor, the blonde suddenly whirled, slapped Mr. Wilson, and said, “That will teach you to pinch!” Bewildered, Mr. Wilson was halfway to the parking lot with his wife when he ... Read More »

Cannibal Feast

An airplane full of a shipment of Pepsi flying over Africa had a malfunction, and went down. A few weeks later, Pepsi sent a rescue plane. They searched the area and found a tribe of cannibals. They walked up to the Chief of the tribe and asked him if he knew anything about the crash. The Chief said, “Yeah.” When ... Read More »

Keynote

A boss was educating an employee on effective sales technique. “The main thing to remember is that repetition, repetition, repetition is the keynote!” he advised. “If you have a product to sell, keep harping on it in every possible way, cram it down people’s throats and beat them over the head with it! Above all, don’t ever forget to repeat ... Read More »

Some advice

When a woman in an office became engaged to be married, a colleague offered her some advice. “The first ten years are the hardest.” “How long have you been married?” the woman asked. “Ten years,” she replied. Read More »

Following instructions

A woman brought her baby to see the Doctor, and he determined right away that the baby had an earache. He wrote a prescription for ear drops. In the directions he wrote, “Put two drops in right ear every four hours” and he abbreviated “right” as an R with a circle around it. Several days passed, and the woman returned ... Read More »

Remember

A mother was having a tea party on the lawn with her children. A neighbor said, “How can you find time for a tea party when you have three small kids?” She smile and said, “They’ll always remember our tea parties, but they’ll never remember if their clothes were ironed or clean!” Read More »

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