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  • The Car Wash

    A church choir was putting on a car wash to raise money for a special trip to Bethlehem. They made a large sign that read: CAR WASH FOR CHOIR TRIP. On the scheduled Saturday, business was very good. But, by two o’clock the sky clouded, the rain poured, and there were hardly any customers.Finally, one […] More

  • Honey Pie

    After a nice dinner the two couples got up from the table. The ladies went into the kitchen and the men went into the family room. One of the gents said to the other, “I think it is so wonderful how you call your wife, “honey pie” and “sweet pea”, and “sugar” all the time. […] More

  • Approval of the Family

    When my wife and I decided to get married we’d been going out for a few years. We really loved each other and we wanted everything to be perfect… and pretty much everything was, except that one thing had been bothering me. Her sister was a babe and many times I visited, she would flirt […] More

  • Feline Heaven

    A cat dies and goes to Heaven. God meets him at the gate and says, “You have been a good cat all of these years. Anything you desire is yours, all you have to do is ask.” The cats says, “Well, I lived all my life with a poor family on a farm and had […] More

  • Crash and Burn

    Two men got out of their cars after they collided at an intersection. One took a flask from his pocket and said to the other, “Here, maybe you’d like a nip to calm your nerves.” “Thanks,” he said, and took a long pull from the container. “Here, you have one, too,” he added, handing back […] More

  • Why are you crying?

    Two guys were sitting outside a medical clinic. One of them was crying, tears were pouring down his face. The other guy asked, “Why are you crying?” The first one replied, “I came here for blood test.” The second one asked, “So? Why are you crying? Are you afraid?” The first guy replied, “No. Not […] More

  • Guts vs Balls

    There is a medical distinction between Guts and Balls. We have all heard of people having Guts or having Balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, here are the definitions: GUTS: Is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by […] More

  • Six months to live

    “Mr. Clark, I’m afraid I have bad news,” the doctor told his anxious patient. “You only have six months to live.” The man sat in stunned silence for several minutes. Regaining his composure, he apologetically announced that he had no medical insurance. “I can’t possibly pay you in that time,” he said. “OK,” the doctor […] More

  • Apples

    The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: “Take only ONE. God is watching.” Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of […] More

  • Marriage Counseling

    A husband and wife came for counselling after 25 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into an angry tirade listing each and every problem they had ever had in the 25 years they had been married. She went on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved […] More

  • Winning toast

    Patrick hoisted his beer and said: “Here’s to spending the rest of my life between the legs of me wife!” And with that he took home the top prize for the best toast of the night. In bed later that night, he told his wife: “Mary, I won the prize for the best toast of […] More

  • How many?

    Adam returned home late at night, and entered the front door with staggering feet. As soon as he saw his wife Stella, he ordered her to come with him upstairs as he wanted a screw immediately. “What the hell Adam,” said Stella, “How many have you had tonight?” “Just the one.” Adam replied in a […] More

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