Animal Jokes | Hot Jokes

The After-Effects of Marriage

A lion was getting married and all animals attended the wedding. Every animal stood a distance and wished then lion. A mouse came and climbed to the stage and extended his hand to wish the lion. The lion roared in rage and said, “How dare are you to come up the stage? Even the tiger […] More

Beaver

Johnny was playing outside when he really had to go to the bathroom. He runs in and his grandma was about to take a shower. He looks at her crotch and says, “Whats that?” She says, “Well, it’s a beaver, Johnny.” The next day the same thing happens, only his mom is taking the shower. […] More

Camel Questions

A mother and baby camel are talking one day when the baby camel asks, “Mom, why have I got these huge three toed feet?” The mother replies, “Well son, when we trek across the desert your toes will help you to stay on top of the soft sand.” “Okay,” says the son. A few minutes […] More

Dog in Heat

A little girl asked her Mom, “Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block? Mom replies, “No, because she is in heat.” “What’s that mean?” asked the child. “Go ask your father. I think he’s in the garage.” The little girl goes to the garage and says, “Dad, may I take […] More

How do you mean?

A little girl was out with her Grandmother when they came across a couple of dogs mating on the sidewalk. “What are they doing, Grandma?” asked the little girl. The grandmother was embarrassed, so she said, “The dog on top has hurt his paw, and the one underneath is carrying him to the doctor.” “They’re […] More

Barking Dog

Paddy and his missus are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor’s dog barking. It had been barking for hours and hours. Suddenly, Paddy jumps out of bed and says, “I’ve had enough of this,” and goes downstairs. Paddy finally comes back up to bed and his wife says, “The dog is still […] More

A duck walks into a Dairy

A duck walks into a dairy and says “Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!” But the cash register attendee doesn’t speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a […] More

The Laboratory Rabbit

A rabbit escaped from a research laboratory where he had lived since birth. He joined a group of wild rabbits and lived their lives for a day. He fed on juicy carrots, fat lettuces and sighed with pleasure. “This is life!” he exclaimed. “So you are going to live with us?” asked the others. “I […] More