Animal Jokes | Hot Jokes

The penguin

A guy found a penguin and showed him to a policeman. The policeman said, “Take that penguin to the zoo, now.” Next day the policeman sees the man with the penguin again. The policeman stops the guy and says, I told you yesterday to take the penguin to the Zoo, what on earth are you […] More

A Day At The Races

The man selling two-dollar tickets at Monmouth Racetrack registered complete surprise when a horse stepped up to the window and asked to bet on himself. “What’s the matter?” snorted the horse. “Are you astonished that I can talk?” “Not at all,” said the man. “I’m surprised that you think you can win.” More

Two caterpillars..

Two caterpillars were crawling along a leaf when a butterfly flew past overhead. One caterpillar turned to the other one and said: “You’ll never get me up in one of those things!” More

Little Workers

The teacher was giving her class of seven-year-olds a nature history lesson. “Worker ants,” she told them, “can carry pieces of food five times their own weight. What do you conclude from that?” One child was ready with the answer, “They don’t have a union?” More

It’s All About Perspective

It was a baby mosquito’s first day to fly out from home. When the mosquito came back home later that day, the father mosquito asked, “How was your journey?” The baby mosquito replied, “It went great, everyone was clapping for me!” More

Carpet Installation and… replacement

A man was carpeting his living room, and once finished, he couldn’t find his pack of cigarettes. Then he saw the lump in the middle of the carpet. He decided he didn’t want to pull up the new carpet for one pack of smokes, so he took his hammer and pounded the lump flat. His […] More

What’s Your Name?

After crossing the road, the chicken goes up to James Bond and asks him, “What’s your name?” “Bond, James Bond. What is yours?” “Ken, Chick Ken.” More

Anything to repay you

A very horny guy is stranded on an island with a monkey. After a while, he decides to have s*x with the monkey, but the monkey continually slips out of his grip and runs away. One day, a very attractive girl is drowning in the ocean and the guy saves her. She says, “I’ll do […] More