Blonde Jokes

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  • Head and Shoulders

    A blonde and a brunette are both in an elevator. On the third floor a man gets on who’s perfect: Italian suit, handsome, great build with a nice butt, but unfortunately they both notice he has a bad case of dandruff. The man gets off on the 5th floor. Once the doors close, the brunette […] More

  • Hot date

    A blonde goes on a hot date and ends up making out with the guy in his car. The guy asks if she would like to go in the backseat. “No!” yells the blonde. Things get even hotter, and the guy asks again. “For the last time, no!” says the blonde. Frustrated, the guy asks, […] More

  • Hourse Rider

    A blonde decides to learn and try horse back riding assisted without any experience or lessons. She mounts the horse with great effort, and the tall, shiny horse springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. Out of shear terror, she grabs […] More

  • The Blinker

    Two blondes were driving down the road. The blonde driving looks at her friend in the passenger seat and asks her to see if her blinker is working. So the blonde looks out the window and says, ”Yes. No. Yes. No.” More

  • Blondes on a plane

    Two blondes were flying to Miami from Cleveland. Fifteen minutes into the flight, the captain announced “One of the engines has failed and the flight will be an hour longer. But don’t worry we have three engines left”. Thirty minutes later, the captain announced “One more engine has failed and the flight will be two […] More

  • What are you doing this evening?

    Rebecca, the curvy blonde secretary, came out from the cabin of her boss. She was shaking with anger, so a colleague asked her what was wrong. Rebecca said,”The Boss asked me what was I doing this evening.” The colleague asked, “So what did you say?” Rebecca answered, “I said I was doing nothing. He gave […] More

  • Flying Lessons

    A blonde went to a flight school insisting she wanted to learn to fly. As all the planes were currently in use, the owner agreed to instruct her by radio on how to pilot the solo helicopter. He took her out, showed her how to start it and gave her the basics, and sent her […] More

  • TGIF

    A businessman got into an elevator. When he entered, there was a blonde already inside and she greeted him by saying, ‘T-G-I-F’ He smiled at her and replied, ‘S-H-I-T’ She looked at him puzzled and said, ‘T-G-I-F’ again. He acknowledged her remark again by answering, ‘S-H-I-T.’ The blonde was trying to be friendly, so she […] More

  • Make It Off The Island

    There were three people stranded on an island, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. The brunette looked over the water to the mainland and estimated about 20 miles to shore. So she announced, “I’m going to try to swim to shore.” So she swam out five miles, and got really tired. She swam out […] More

  • Supermarket

    The man approached a very beautiful blonde woman in a large supermarket and asked, “You know, I’ve lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?” “Why?” she asks. “Because every time I talk to a a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of nowhere.” More

  • A Blonde’s dream

    A blonde keeps having the same weird dream, so she goes to her doctor. Doctor, “What is your dream about?” Blonde, “I am being chased by a vampire…” Doctor, “So, where are you in this dream?” Blonde, “I am running in a hallway.” Doctor, “Then what happens?” Blonde, “Well, that’s the weird thing. In every […] More

  • The Mail

    There was this guy that lived acrossed from a blonde. He was outside mowing,and here comes the blonde. She goes to her mailbox, opens it, looks inside it, and slams it. In about ten minutes, here she comes again, opens her mailbox, looks in it and slams it shut looking upset. In about 15 more […] More

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