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Following instructions

A woman brought her baby to see the Doctor, and he determined right away that the baby had an earache. He wrote a prescription for ear drops. In the directions he wrote, “Put two drops in right ear every four hours” and he abbreviated “right” as an R with a circle around it. Several days passed, and the woman returned ... Read More »

Remember

A mother was having a tea party on the lawn with her children. A neighbor said, “How can you find time for a tea party when you have three small kids?” She smile and said, “They’ll always remember our tea parties, but they’ll never remember if their clothes were ironed or clean!” Read More »

I want to get married!

Little Paul says to his father, “Daddy, Daddy, I want to get married.” His father says, “For that son, you have to have a girlfriend.” Paul says, “But I’ve found a girl.” “Who?” said his father. “My grandma.” “Let me get this straight.” the father says. “You want to marry my mother? You can’t do that.” “Well, why not?” says ... Read More »

Changing Voice

My sister explained to my nephew how his voice would eventually change as he grew up. Tyler was exuberant at the prospect. “Cool!” he said. “I hope I get a German accent.” Read More »

Baby brother or sister

For weeks a six-year old boy kept telling his first-grade teacher about the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house. One day the mother allowed the boy to feel the movements of the unborn child. The six-year old was obviously impressed, but made no comment. Furthermore, he stopped telling his teacher about the impending event. The teacher ... Read More »

Hear Mommy say

A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said, “Would you like to say the blessing?” “I wouldn’t know what to say,” the girl replied. “Just say what you hear Mommy say,” the wife answered. The daughter bowed her head and said, “Lord, why on earth did I invite all these ... Read More »

Got any more?

A young man from the city went to visit his farmer uncle. For the first few days, the uncle showed him the usual things – chickens, cows, crops, etc. After three days, however, it was obvious that the nephew was getting bored, and the uncle was running out of things to amuse him with. Finally, the uncle had an idea. ... Read More »

Three came after two

Eileen’s two-year-old great-grandson was excited about having his birthday in a few days. When asked how old he would be, he always said he would be four and held up four fingers. His mother tried to explain that he would be three, that three came after two, but he wasn’t convinced. He told her that he had to be four ... Read More »

Where’s Mom and dad?

A little boy came down for breakfast one morning and asked his grandma, “Where’s Mom and dad?” and she replied, “They’re up in bed.” The little boy started to giggle and ate his breakfast and went out to play. Then he came back in for lunch and asked his grandma, “Where’s Mom and Dad?” and she replied, “They’re still up ... Read More »

Give up my seat

Little Mary: “Mummy, when I was on the bus with Daddy this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.” Mom: “Well, that is alright, Annie.” Little Mary: “But Mummy, I was sitting on Daddy’s lap!” Read More »

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