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Birthday Party

A lady is throwing a party for her granddaughter and had gone all out….. a caterer, band, and a hired clown. Just before the party started, two bums showed up looking for a handout. Feeling sorry for the bums, the woman told them that she would give them a meal if they will help chop some wood for her out ... Read More »

Test Performance

Little Anne came running into the house after the school one day, shouting, “Daddy! Daddy! I got 100 in school today!” “That’s great sweetheart!” said her daddy. “Come into the living room and tell me about it,” daddy continued. Little Anne said, “Well, I got 50 in spelling, 30 in math and 20 in science.” Read More »

Boy Scout on the plane

A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy scout and a pastor were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble. In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started to go down. Finally, the pilot grabbed a parachute, yelled to the passengers that they had better jump, and ... Read More »

The Parable of the Seagull

A woman went to the beach with her children. Her 4-year-old son ran up to her, grabbed her hand, and led her to the shore where a dead seagull lay in the sand. “Mommy, what happened to him?” the little boy asked. “He died and went to heaven,” she replied. The child thought for a moment and said, “And God ... Read More »

The Gift

On the first day of school, the children brought gifts for their teacher. The florist’s son brought the teacher a bouquet of flowers. The candy-store owner’s daughter gave the teacher a pretty box of candy. Then the liquor-store owner’s son brought up a big, heavy box. The teacher lifted it up and noticed that it was leaking a little bit. ... Read More »

Water and Whiskey

A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms “Now, class, closely observe the worms,” said the professor while putting a worm into the water. The worm in the water writhed about, happy ... Read More »

A little boy sits on Santa’s

A little boy sits on Santa’s lap. Santa says, “I bet I know what you want for Christmas,” and with his finger he taps the boys nose with every letter he spells “T-O-Y-S.” The little boy thinks a second and says, “No, I have enough toys.” Santa replies once again tapping the boys nose with every letter, “C-A-N-D-Y.” Again the ... Read More »

A Little Pain

The new priest was hosting a meeting in the church of the young candidates for First Communion, with their parents. Now, this church had some magnificent stained glass windows, so his message centered on how each of us is called to help make up the whole picture of life, i.e. the life of the community of the faithful. Like the ... Read More »

Say What?

Teacher: “Here is an example of a tongue twister — Sally sells sixty-six shells by the sandy seashore… Now try saying that five times in a row fast!” Little Johnny: “That five times in a row fast!” Read More »

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