Children Jokes

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  • What kind of filling?

    A little boy called Ben was taken to the dentist. Examination revealed that Ben had a cavity, which needed filling. “Now, young man,” asked the dentist, “what kind of filling would you like for that tooth, amalgam or composite?” “I would prefer chocolate, please,” replied Ben. More

  • Not eating chicken

    A little boy and a little girl attended the same school and became friends. Every day they would sit together to eat their lunch. They discovered that they both brought chicken sandwiches every day! This went on all through the fourth and fifth grades, until one day he noticed that her sandwich wasn’t a chicken […] More

  • I guessed FIVE

    A little boy came home from kindergarten with a blue ribbon. When his mommy asked him “What is the blue ribbon for?” he proudly announced, “I won!” When pressed for details he simply said, “The teacher asked all of us to guess how many legs a cow has. When my turn came, I guessed FIVE.” […] More

  • Magic trick

    After tucking their three-year-old child Sammy in for bed one night, his parents heard sobbing coming from his room. Rushing back in, they found him crying hysterically. He managed to tell them that he had swallowed a penny and he was sure he was going to die. No amount of talking was helping. His father, […] More

  • Play Mommie and Daddy

    Little Johnny rushes home from school. He invades the fridge and is scooping out some cherry vanilla ice cream when his mother enters the kitchen. She says, “Put that away Johnny! You can’t have ice cream now. It’s too close to supper time. Go outside and play.” Johnny whimpers and says, “There’s no one to […] More

  • This world..

    The geography teacher was upset when her least-motivated pupil failed another test. “You never study,” she chided. “What are you waiting for?” The pupil replied, “Grandpa says the world is changing, I’m waiting for it to settle down.” More

  • Some advice

    An 8 year-old was giving his kid brother some advice as the younger one was about to go off to school for the first time: “Don’t learn how to spell ‘car’, because if you do, after that the words just keep getting harder and harder.” More

  • Kittens

    A three-year-old went with his dad to see a litter of kittens. On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother there were two boy kittens and two girl kittens. “How did you know?” his mother asked. “Daddy picked them up and looked underneath,” he replied. “I think it was printed on the bottom.” More

  • Little girl curiosities

    A little girl was watching her mother prepare a fish for dinner. Her mother cut the head and tail off the fish and then placed it into a baking pan. The little girl asked her mother why she cut the head and tail off the fish. Her mother thought for a while and then said, […] More

  • What human body part

    The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, “What human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?” No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, “You should not be asking sixth-graders a question like that! I’m going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the […] More

  • God and Gifts

    Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents the week before Christmas. At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his lungs. “I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE…” “I PRAY FOR A NEW NINTENDO…” “I PRAY FOR A […] More

  • Pessimist vs Optimist

    A family had twin boys whose only resemblance to each other was their looks. If one felt it was too hot, the other thought it was too cold. If one said the TV was too loud, the other claimed the volume needed to be turned up. Opposite in every way, one was an eternal optimist, […] More

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