Doctor Jokes

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  • Dr`s Receptionist

    An 86-year-old man walked into a crowded doctor’s office. As he approached the desk, the receptionist said, “Yes sir, what are you seeing the doctor for today?” “There’s something wrong with my d*ck,” he replied. The receptionist became irritated and said, “You shouldn’t come into a crowded office and say things like that.” “Why not? […] More

  • The good news

    A man goes into the hospital for some tests. The medical staff knocks him out, and when he comes around there is a doctor peering over him, pulling up his eyelid and wielding the reflex hammer. The doctor says: “Ah, I’m glad you’re awake. I’m afraid I have some good news and some bad news.” […] More

  • WW, WA, and ATR

    A guy walks into a bathroom, sits down, and notices three buttons in front of him marked, WW, WA, and ATR. Curiosity gets the better of him so he decides to press WW. Suddenly, warm water sprays up his rear. “Mmmm,” he says to himself. “That was good.” So he presses WA and a jet […] More

  • Baby’s First Doctor Visit

    A woman and a baby were in the doctor’s examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby’s first exam. The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breastfed or bottle-fed. “Breastfed”, she replied. “Well, strip down to your waist”, […] More

  • A Serious Condition

    A well respected surgeon was relaxing on his sofa one evening just after arriving home from work. As he was tuning into the evening news, the phone rang. The doctor calmly answered it and heard the familiar voice of a colleague on the other end of the line. “We need a fourth for poker,” said […] More

  • Sweet Medicine

    Grandma of a boy don’t like eating her medicine. So the boy went to the doctor and asked what he could do. The doctor tells him a trick. The boy came back home with some sweets and put the medicine inside them and gave it to Grandma to eat. After eating her sweets the Grandson […] More

  • The doctor and the plumber

    A pipe burst in a doctor’s house. He called a plumber. The plumber arrived, unpacked his tools, did some mysterious plumber-type things for a while, and handed the doctor a bill for $600. The doctor exclaimed, “This is ridiculous, I don’t even make this much money!” The plumber replied, “Neither did I when I was […] More

  • The Nervous Surgeon

    An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to get the anesthesia, he asked to speak to his son. “Yes, Dad, what is it?” “Don’t be nervous, son; do your best and just remember, if it doesn’t […] More

  • Arriving in Heaven!

    A man is standing outside the gates of Heaven. Saint Peter approaches and says, “Can I help you?” The man replies, “No thanks.” He continues to stand on the clouds. “Are you sure I can’t help you?” says Saint Peter. “No. That’s fine,” says the man. Several minutes pass before Saint Peter approaches the man […] More

  • The man told his doctor that h

    The man told his doctor that he wasn’t able to do all the things around the house that he used to do. The doctor started a long and thorough examination, but finally found nothing wrong with the man. When the examination was complete, he said, “Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain […] More

  • A new patient was quite upset

    A new patient was quite upset when the doctor’s nurse led him to a small, curtained cubicle and told him to undress. “But I only want the doctor to look at an ingrown toenail!” he protested. “Our rule is that everyone must undress,” replied the blond nurse. “That’s a stupid rule,” grumbled the patient, “making […] More

  • Doctor: What’s wrong?!

    Doctor: What’s wrong with your brother? Boy: He thinks he is a chicken. Doctor: really? How long has this been going on? Boy: Five years. Doctor: Five years! Boy: We would have brought him in earlier, but we needed the eggs. More

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