Doctor Jokes | Hot Jokes

Same age

An old man goes to his doctor, complaining about a pain in his leg that doesn’t heal and wants a diagnosis and explanation. The doctor checks out his leg, but can’t find anything wrong. So he gives the old guy a full physical exam, and still can’t come up with any possible explanation for the […] More

What’s the verdict?

A gorgeous shapely girl was lying naked in a hospital bed with just a sheet covering her. Suddenly a young man came in, pulled back the sheet and examined her closely. “What’s the verdict?” she asked. He replied, “I don’t know, you’ll have to ask the doctor that, I’m only the window cleaner.” More

It’s no good

“It’s no good, Mabel, I can’t find anything wrong with you, it must be the effects of drinking,” said the doctor. “Well, in that case I’ll come back when you’re sober!” exclaimed the woman. More

First child

A man speaks frantically into the phone, “My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!” “Is this her first child?” the doctor queries. “No, you idiot!” the man shouts. “This is her husband!” More

New Hearing Aid

Having lost most of his hearing a number of years ago, this elderly man goes to the doctor to be fitted with hearing aids which promise to allow him to hear 100%. A month later, he returns to the doctor for a check up on his progress. The doctor tells him that his hearing is […] More

Under The Bed

Jimmy went to a psychiatrist. “Doc,” he said, “I’ve got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there’s somebody under it. I’m going crazy!” “Just put yourself in my hands for one year,” said the shrink. “Come to me three times a week, and I’ll cure your fears.” How much do you charge?” […] More

Constipation Problem

An old woman went to see her doctor about her constipation problem. “It’s horrible,” she said, “I haven’t moved my bowels in a week.” “I see. Have you done anything about it?” asked the doctor. “Yes, doctor,” she replied, “I sit in the bathroom for a 20 minutes in the morning and again at night.” […] More

Loving wife

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor’s office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, “Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease, combined with horrible stress. If you don’t do the following, your husband will surely die. Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be […] More

Serious Patient

A well-respected surgeon was relaxing on his sofa one evening just after arriving home from work. As he was tuning into the evening news, the phone rang. The doctor calmly answered it, and heard the familiar voice of a colleague on the other end of the line. “We need a fourth for poker,” said the […] More

First visit

A young woman wasn’t feeling well, and asked one of her co-workers to recommend a physician. “I know a great one in the city, but he is very expensive. Two thousand dollars for the first visit, and one hundred dollars for each one after that.” The woman went to the doctor’s office and, trying to save […] More

(R)ear drops!

A Blonde brought her baby in to see the doctor, and right away he determined that baby had an ear ache. Doctor wrote a prescription for ear drops. In the directions he wrote, “Put two drops in right ear every four hours” and he abbreviated “right” as an R with a circle around it. Several […] More

Ban plastic bags…

Sam and John were out cutting wood, and John cut his arm off. Sam wrapped the arm in a plastic bag and took it and John to a surgeon. The surgeon said: “You are in luck! I am an expert at reattaching limbs! Come back in four hours.” So Sam came back in four hours […] More

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