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Broken legs…

At the hospital, there was a man laying in the emergency room, the doctor opened the door and walked toward the man. Man said, `Will I be ok, Doctor?” The doctor turned to him and said, “Well there is good and bad news.” “Tell me the bad news”, said the man. “Well,” said the doctor, “the bad news is that ... Read More »

Observation !

A professor is giving the first year medical students their first lecture on autopsies, and decides to give them a few basics before starting. “You must be capable of two things to do an autopsy. The first thing is that you must have no sense of fear.” At this point, the lecturer sticks his finger into the dead man`s anus, ... Read More »

Bad news

This guy goes into a doctor’s office.the doctor says “oh mr Jones!We have the results of your you want the bad news first or the very bad news?” The guy shrugs and says “Well I guess I’ll have the bad news first”. “Well the bad news is, you have 24 hours to live the doc replies. The man is ... Read More »

I know

A woman and a baby were in the doctor’s examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in. The doctor arrived, examined the baby, checked his weight and found it somewhat below normal. The doctor asked if the baby was breast fed or bottle fed. “Breast fed,” the woman replied. “Well, strip down to your waist,” the doctor asked. She ... Read More »

Doctor, are you sure?

“Doctor, are you sure I’m suffering from pneumonia? I’ve heared once about a doctor treating someone with pneumonia and finally he died of typhus.” “Dont worry, it wont happen to me. If I treat someone with pneumonia he will die of pneumonia.” Read More »

3rd patient

One morning at a doctor ‘s clinic a well built man arrives complaining of severe back pain, the doctor examines him and asks OK what happened to your back? The patient replies “you know that I … work as a bouncer for a local night club? This morning I got home to my apartment early and heard a noise in my bedroom. On entering I knew ... Read More »

Call Me A Doctor

A young man was standing in the middle of a street and shouting. Young man: Call me a doctor. Call me a doctor. Passer-by(anxiously): What’s the matter with you? Are you feeling sick? Young man(haapily): No, I just graduated from medical college. Read More »

The Nervous Surgeon

An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to get the anesthesia, he asked to speak to his son. “Yes, Dad, what is it?” “Don’t be nervous, son; do your best and just remember, if it doesn’t go well, if something happens ... Read More »

First Proctology Exam

A Guy goes into a proctologist’s office for his first exam. The doctor told him to have a seat. In the examination room and that he would be with him in just a few minutes. When the man sat down and began observing the tools he noticed there were three items on a stand next to the exam table. A ... Read More »

The doctor and the plumber

A pipe burst in a doctor’s house. He called a plumber. The plumber arrived, unpacked his tools, did some mysterious plumber-type things for a while, and handed the doctor a bill for $600. The doctor exclaimed, “This is ridiculous, I don’t even make this much money!” The plumber replied, “Neither did I when I was a doctor”. Read More »

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