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How to Say No to Smoking

I discussed peer pressure and cigarettes with my 12-year-old daughter. Having struggled for years to quit, I described how I had started smoking to “be cool”. As I outlined the arguments kids might make to tempt her to try it, she stopped me mid-lecture, saying, “Hey, I’ll just tell them my mom smokes. How cool can it be?” Read More »

A Home Affair

My client buys many rental properties, not always with the 
enthusiastic support of his wife. Recently, I was showing him a home when his wife called. I could hear her ask what he was doing. “The real estate agent and I are having an affair,” he answered. “Oh, thank God,” she said. “I thought she was selling you another house.” Read More »

Home Improvement

Kathy goes to her local bank, walks into the manager’s office, and says, “I want a loan. I am going to divorce my husband.” “Oh, we don’t give loans for divorces,” the manager says. “We offer loans only for things like real estate, appliances, automobiles, businesses, and home improvement.” Kathy interrupts: “Stop right there. This definitely falls into the category ... Read More »

They Do Look Alike

My sister was busy getting ready to host our entire family for Easter. On her to-do list was a hair appointment for her daughter. “So, Katie,” said the stylist as the little girl got up in the chair, “who’s coming to your house this weekend with big ears and floppy feet?” Katie replied, “I think it’s my Uncle Brian.” Read More »

Few days

The doorbell rings. A man opens the door and there’s his mother-in-law on the front step. She asks, “Can I stay here for a few days?” The man says, “Sure you can.” And he closes the door. Read More »

Smokey Dinner Call

My cooking has always been the target of family jokes. One evening, as I prepared dinner a bit too quickly, the kitchen filled with smoke and the smoke detector went off. Although both of my children had received fire-safety training at school, they did not respond to the alarm. Annoyed, I stormed through the house in search of them. I ... Read More »

Rounding Up for A Better Start

My sister decided to go on a diet, and that first evening she phoned me. I could tell her mouth was full, so I asked her what she was eating. “A cupcake,” she mumbled. “I just got on the scale, and it read 149 1/2 pounds. I decided that was no place to start a diet, so I’m rounding it ... Read More »

Lunch Break

When a squirrel slipped into my house, I did the logical thing: I panicked and called my father. “How do you get a squirrel out of a basement?” I shrieked. Dad advised me to leave a trail of peanut butter and crackers from the basement to the outside. It worked—the squirrel ate his way out of the house. Unfortunately, he ... Read More »

Last night

This guy says to his buddy, “You’ll never believe what happened last night.” His buddy says, “Well then, tell me what happened.” The guy says, “Last night the doorbell rang, and when I opened the door, there was my ex-mother-in-law on the front porch.” She said, “Can I stay here for a few days?” I said, “Of course, you can,” ... Read More »

Love Letters From Grandpa

My grandmother told me how she ended up marrying Grandpa. She was in her 20’s, and the man she was dating left for war. “We were in love,” she recalled, “and wrote to each other every week. It was during that time that I discovered how wonderful your grandfather was.” “Did you marry Grandpa when he came home from the ... Read More »

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