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How much?

When the family car developed a slight knock, the husband asked his wife if she had bought regular or premium gas, but she couldn’t remember. “You probably got the cheaper gas,” he said. “That could account for the engine running so rough.” “No, the gas wasn’t cheaper!” she replied indignantly. “Well, how much did it cost?” asked the husband. “It ... Read More »

Wishbone

One Thanksgiving a grandfather and his grandson broke the wishbone from the turkey. The boy was bitterly disappointed to find himself holding the small end of the bone. “Don’t worry,” the grandfather comforted the child. “My wish was that your wish would come true.” Read More »

New gifts

The small girl had recently received a new watch and some perfume, which she was very excited about. Their family asked the pastor over for dinner. The girl wanted so badly to tell the pastor about her new gifts, but her mother insisted she wait until after dinner and not interrupt at meal time. Not able to contain her excitement, ... Read More »

No bike

For his birthday, little Patrick asked for a 10-speed bicycle. His father said, “Son, we’d give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $80,000 and your mother just lost her job. There’s no way we can afford it.” The next day the father saw little Patrick heading out the front door with a suitcase. So he asked, “Son, ... Read More »

Better throw it out!

A small boy came running out of the bathroom in tears. “What’s the matter?” asked his father. “I dropped my toothbrush in the toilet.” “Okay, don’t worry, but we’d better throw it out.” So the father fished the toothbrush out of the toilet and put it in the garbage. When he returned, the boy was holding another toothbrush. “Isn’t that ... Read More »

Judgment

A man and his young wife were in divorce court, but the custody of their children posed a problem. The mother leaped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them. The man also wanted custody of his children, so the judge asked for his justification. ... Read More »

Are you..?!

A baby was born that was so advanced that he could talk. He looked around the delivery room and saw the doctor. “Are you my doctor?” he asked. “Yes, I am.” The baby said, “Thank you for taking such good care of me during birth.” He looked at his mother and asked, “Are you my mother?” “Yes, I am,” she ... Read More »

$5,000 bird

A successful businessman wanted to send his elderly mother a very special gift for her birthday, a rare South American endangered bird valued at $5,000. When he called his mother to see how she liked the surprise gift he was shocked when she said, “It was quite small, but tasted very good.” He asked her, after her shocking reply, “Mom, ... Read More »

Helpful Grandaugher

My Granddaughter bought me one of those fancy do everything cell phones for my birthday. She said she’d come over on the weekend and show me how to use it. The bad thing is I spilled some water on it and feeling horrible I called her up and told her what happened. She told me take out the battery, take ... Read More »

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