Family Jokes

Subterms

Latest stories

  • Family of the Groom

    At an Easter mass, at which some young ladies were to take their final vows to become nuns, the presiding bishop noticed two rabbis enter the church just before the mass began. They were seated at the back of the sanctuary and insisted on sitting on the right side of the center aisle. The bishop […] More

  • Salad for Dinner

    I came home from work this evening and said to my wife, “Are we having salad for dinner?” “Yes we are, how did you know?” she asked. I replied, “Because I can’t hear the smoke alarm.” More

  • Test Performance

    Little Anne came running into the house after the school one day, shouting, “Daddy! Daddy! I got 100 in school today!” “That’s great sweetheart!” said her daddy. “Come into the living room and tell me about it,” daddy continued. Little Anne said, “Well, I got 50 in spelling, 30 in math and 20 in science.” More

  • The Nod of Approval

    A family enters a large store. After browsing for several moments they purchase some goods and head for the large counter at the front of the store. They notice a robotic seal standing in a corner situated near the counter. It is dressed in a tuxedo and each time goods are packaged the seal nods […] More

  • Cruise Control

    My family has a tradition of naming the cruise control on our cars. We were used to hearing my father proclaim, “Take it, Max,” as he flipped on the cruise control during long trips in our station wagon. Recently, I was travelling with my parents in their new car when we hit a wide-open expanse […] More

  • Fooling Around

    One Sunday morning George burst into the living room and said, “Dad! Mom! I have some great news for you! I am getting married to the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away and her name is Susan. After dinner, George’s dad took him aside, “Son, I have to talk with you. […] More

  • Clever Mom

    A Mom visits her son for dinner who lives with a girl roommate. During the course of the meal, his mother couldn’t help but notice how pretty his roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, […] More

  • Old enough

    Son: “Dad, when will I be old enough so I don’t have to ask mom for her permission to go out?” Dad: “Son, even I haven’t grown old enough to go out without her permission!” More

  • Smoke Rings

    Three little boys were sitting around talking about their fathers. The first boy said, “My dad can blow smoke rings.” The second boy said, “My dad can blow smoke rings out of his nose.” The third boy said, “Well, my dad can blow smoke rings out of his butt.” The first and second boys where […] More

  • They Got Mom!

    My mother was away all weekend at a business conference. During a break, she decided to call home, collect. My six-year-old brother picked up the phone and heard a stranger’s voice say, “We have a Marcia on the line. Will you accept the charges?” Frantic, he dropped the receiver and came charging outside screaming, “Dad! […] More

  • Going on vacation

    A man is talking to his friend and he says: “I’m about to go on vacation, and I don’t know what to do.” His buddy asks: “Why?” And the man says: “Well, last year’s vacation was Hawaii. I came back, and my wife was pregnant. The year before that was the Bahamas. I came back, […] More

  • Guess who’s the bride

    A young Jewish man excitedly tells his mother he’s fallen in love and that he is going to get married. He says, “Just for fun, Ma, I’m going to bring over three women and you try and guess which one I’m going to marry.” The mother agrees. The next day, he brings three beautiful women […] More

Load More
Congratulations. You've reached the end of the internet.