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  • Unique birthday gift

    Joe, a billionaire, was in a dilemma. His wife’s birthday was approaching and he didn’t have a clue what to gift her. There was nothing that she didn’t already have. So, when he shared his problem with a friend, the friend suggested: “I have a great idea. You can prepare a certificate for her which […] More

  • Working…

    A fellow stopped at a rural gas station and, after filling his tank, he paid the bill and bought a soft drink. He stood by his car to drink his cola and he watched a couple of men working along the roadside. One man would dig a hole two or three feet deep and then […] More

  • In the mirror

    Joshina asks her husband Derek for money, so she can go and buy groceries from the local store. She asks for 50 dollars but Derek tells her, “You out of your mind?”. He then pulls her to the mirror, and says, “I’ll show you something. This 50-dollar bill is mine and the one you see […] More

  • Wet Smokers

    Two old ladies were outside their nursing home having a smoke, when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking. Lady 1: What’s that? Lady 2: A condom. Lady 1: Where’d you get it? Lady 2: You can get […] More

  • Cookies

    An elderly man lay dying in his bed. In death’s agony, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies wafting up the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort […] More

  • Colors

    A Spanish captain was walking on his ship when a soldier rushes to him and exclaims, “An enemy ship is approaching us!” The captain replies calmly, “Go get my red shirt.” The soldier gets the shirt for the captain. The enemy ship comes in and heavy rounds of fire are exchanged. Finally, the Spaniards win. […] More

  • Accidentally kissed

    A Frenchman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer are sitting in a train carriage together. The train goes into a tunnel and there is complete darkness. Suddenly there is a kissing sound then the sound of a really hard slap. When the train comes out the tunnel, the Englishman and Claudia are sitting as if nothing […] More

  • Always talk to you this way?

    A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, “I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.” The driver says, “Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar needs calibrating.” Not looking up from her knitting the wife says sweetly from the passenger seat, “Now don’t be […] More

  • Ribbon

    There was a woman who had a dog that snored. She called her vet to find out if there was anything that would stop the snoring. The vet suggested that she tie a ribbon around the dog’s testicles. So, she went to her sewing basket, found a length of ribbon and tied it around the […] More

  • Emergency Signals

    Two avid hunters take a hunter’s safety class in which they learn that the universal signal for an emergency is three shots in the air. Sure enough, on their next hunting trip the two men get lost. One says to the other, “What shall we do?” The other says, I know fire three shots in […] More

  • Poison

    A man goes to see the Rabbi. “Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it.” The Rabbi asked, “What’s wrong?” The man replied, “My wife is poisoning me.” The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, “How can that be?” The man then pleads, “I’m telling you, I’m certain she’s […] More

  • National Love Making

    A Frenchman, an Italian and an Canadian were discussing love-making. “Last night I made love to my wife three times” boasted the Frenchman. “She was in sheer ectasy this morning…” “Ah, last night I made love to my wife six times,” the Italian responded, “and this morning she made me a wonderful omelette and told […] More

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