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Just One Among Us

A public speaker could not believe his eyes when he saw just one man among the audience. Nevertheless, he decided to go ahead with his speech. He asked him the reason for coming attending his speech. The man replied, “It’s a hot day out there. The air conditioning is pretty good in here.” Read More »

Home Improvement

Kathy goes to her local bank, walks into the manager’s office, and says, “I want a loan. I am going to divorce my husband.” “Oh, we don’t give loans for divorces,” the manager says. “We offer loans only for things like real estate, appliances, automobiles, businesses, and home improvement.” Kathy interrupts: “Stop right there. This definitely falls into the category ... Read More »

Carpet Installation and… replacement

A man was carpeting his living room, and once finished, he couldn’t find his pack of cigarettes. Then he saw the lump in the middle of the carpet. He decided he didn’t want to pull up the new carpet for one pack of smokes, so he took his hammer and pounded the lump flat. His wife came in the room ... Read More »

Scavenger hunt

A woman answered her front door and saw a little boy holding a list. “Ma’am,” he explained, “I’m on a scavenger hunt, and I still need three grains of wheat, a pork-chop bone and a piece of used carbon paper so I can earn a dollar.” “Wow,” the woman replied. “Who sent you on such a challenging hunt?” “My babysitter’s ... Read More »

Now I know..

A father took his small daughter to Disneyworld. When they arrived, the little girl headed straight for the space mountain rollercoaster and rode it twice. The following year, they returned to the park and the father took the girl to space mountain. She hesitated for a moment, then said to her father that she wouldn’t be riding. Father asks her, ... Read More »

Small head

An old man with a cue ball sized head is sitting at the bar. “Excuse me,” says the guy next to him. “I don’t mean to be rude, but I noticed you have an extremely small head. Is that a birth defect?” The old man says, “No my ship was torpedoed by the Germans in World War II. I was ... Read More »

Best balls

Eddie came to work Monday and his co-workers asked him how his weekend was. He said he played a little golf. So his co-worker asked him how well he did. “I hit two of my best balls,” he said. “Tell me about it,” said his co-worker. “I stepped on a rake.” Read More »

The New SUV

Two old friends were chatting. One said to the other, “My 85th birthday was yesterday. The wife gave me an SUV.” Other guy responded, “Wow, that’s amazing! Imagine that, an SUV… what a great gift!” “Yup! Socks, Underwear, AND Viagra!” Read More »

Fresh Flowers

There are women whose thoughtful husbands buy them flowers for no reason. And then there’s me. One day I couldn’t stand it any longer. “Why don’t you ever bring me flowers?” I asked. “What’s the point?” my husband said. “They die after about a week.” “So could you,” I shot back, “but I still like having you around.” Read More »

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