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Really big

A man and his wife were working in their garden 1 day and the man looks over at his wife and says “Your butt is getting really big, I mean really big.I bet your butt is bigger than the barbecue.” With that, he proceeded to get a measuring tape and measured the grill and then went over to where his ... Read More »

Farm Boy Dad

A farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise and yelled over to the boy, “Hey Willis forget your troubles. Come in and visit with us. I’ll help you get the wagon up later.” “That’s mighty nice of you,” Willis answered, “but I don’t think Pa would like me to.” “Aw come ... Read More »

Clever Mom

A Mom visits her son for dinner who lives with a girl roommate. During the course of the meal, his mother couldn’t help but notice how pretty his roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, ... Read More »

Wife’s Diary

We went to a nice restaurant for dinner. I thought he was upset by the fact that I was a bit late, but he said nothing about it. I asked him what was wrong; He said, ‘Nothing.’ I asked him if it was something I had done. He said he wasn’t upset, that it had nothing to do with me, ... Read More »

Girl or Boy

A: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl? B: It’s a girl. She’s my daughter. A: Oh, I’m sorry, sir. I didn’t know that you were her father. B: I’m not. I’m her MOTHER. Read More »

Old enough

Son: “Dad, when will I be old enough so I don’t have to ask mom for her permission to go out?” Dad: “Son, even I haven’t grown old enough to go out without her permission!” Read More »

Celebrating

A married couple was celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary. At the party everybody wanted to know how they managed to stay married so long in this day and age. The husband responded, “When we were first married we came to an agreement. I would make all the major decisions and my wife would make all the minor decisions. And in ... Read More »

Stick this

Santa was very cross. It was Christmas Eve and nothing was going right. The elves were complaining about not getting paid overtime. The reindeer had been drinking all afternoon and the sleigh was broken. Santa was furious. ‘I can’t believe it!’ he yells. ‘I’ve got to deliver millions of presents all over the world in just a few hours – ... Read More »

Ex-Husband

This married couple was sitting in a fine restaurant when the wife looks over at a nearby table and sees a man in a drunken stupor. The husband asks, “I notice you’ve been watching that man for some time now. Do you know him?” “Yes” she replies, “He’s my ex-husband, and has been drinking like that since I left him ... Read More »

That’s Strange

A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombstone, “Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer.” The inscriber insisted that such an inscription would be confusing, for passersby would tend to think that three men were buried under the stone. However he suggested an alternative: He would inscribe, “Here lies ... Read More »

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