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First Day of School

Billy was excited about his first day at school. So excited in fact, that only a few minutes after class started, he realised that he desperately needed to go to the toilet. So Billy raised his hand politely to ask if he could be excused. Of course, the teacher said yes, but asked Billy to be quick. Five minutes later. ... Read More »

Vanishing Cream

During a dinner party, the hosts’ two little children entered the dining room totally nude and walked slowly around the table. The parents were so embarrassed that they pretended nothing was happening and kept the conversation going. The guests cooperated and also continued as if nothing extraordinary was happening. After going all the way around the room, the children left, ... Read More »

Hunting flies

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter. “What are you doing?” she asked. “Hunting flies” he responded. “Oh. Killing any?” she asked. “Yes, three males and two Females,” he replied. Intrigued, she asked, “How can you tell?” He replied, “Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone.” Read More »

Hobbies of Husband

A woman went shopping, At cash counter she opened her purse to pay. The cashier noticed a TV remote in her purse. He couldn’t control his curiosity and asked, “Do you always carry your TV remote with you?” She replied, “No, not always, but my husband refused to accompany me for shopping today… The story continues… The shopkeeper laughs and ... Read More »

I’m Jesus Christ!!!

A drunk stammers out of a bar and runs right into two priests. He says, “I’m Jesus Christ.” The first priest says, “No, son, you’re not.” So the drunk says it to the second priest. The second priest says, “No, son, you’re not.” The drunk says, Look, I can prove it. He walks back into the bar with the two ... Read More »

Old Crush!

A husband takes the wife to a night club. There’s aguy on the dance floor giving it big time. Break dancing, moon walking, back flips, the works! The wife turns to her husband and says, “See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down!” The husband says, “Looks to me like he’s still celebrating!!!” Read More »

Dr`s Receptionist

An 86-year-old man walked into a crowded doctor’s office. As he approached the desk, the receptionist said, “Yes sir, what are you seeing the doctor for today?” “There’s something wrong with my d*ck,” he replied. The receptionist became irritated and said, “You shouldn’t come into a crowded office and say things like that.” “Why not? You asked me what was ... Read More »

Basic Maths!

The school teacher was taking the class in basic maths. She said to little Johnny, “If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many have you got?” “Seven,” replied Johnny. “No, Johnny,” explained the teacher. “That’s not the right answer. Listen. If I give you two apples, then I add another two apples and ... Read More »

What do I look like?

A man came home from work one day and his wife asked him to fix the toilet. The man says “who do i look like the plumber?” and never fixed it…. The man comes home the next day and his wife asks him to fix the garbage disposal. The man says “who do i look like a blad specialist?” and ... Read More »

Can of Peas!

This 60-year old woman was arrested for shoplifting. When she went before the judge, he asked her, “What did you steal?” She replied, “A can of peaches.” The judge then asked her why she had stolen the can of peaches and she replied that she was hungry. The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the can. She ... Read More »

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