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It’s gonna start!

A man came home from work, sat down in his favourite chair, turned on the TV, and said to his wife, “Quick! Bring me a beer before it starts!” She looked a little puzzled, but brought him a beer. When he finished it, he said, “Quick! Bring me another beer! It’s gonna start!” This time she looked a little angry, ... Read More »

Will I be acquitted?

In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the Mystic delivered grave news: “There’s no easy way to tell you this, so I’ll just be blunt. Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year.” Visibly shaken, Laura stared at the woman’s lined face, then at the single flickering ... Read More »

Devil in the church

One Sunday morning, Satan appeared before a small town congregation. Everyone started screaming and running for the front church door, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away. Soon, everyone was gone, except for an elderly gentleman who sat calmly. Satan walked up to the man and said, “Don’t you know who I am?” The man replied, “Yep, ... Read More »

Disease

A newlywed couple on their honeymoon prepares to see each other naked for the first time. The husband exposes his knotted and twisted feet. He explains, “I had tolio as a child.” The wife asks if he means polio. He says, “No, it only affects the toes.” He removes his pants and reveals deformed knees. He admits, “I had kneesles, ... Read More »

Ex-Husband

This married couple was sitting in a fine restaurant when the wife looks over at a nearby table and sees a man in a drunken stupor. The husband asks, “I notice you’ve been watching that man for some time now. Do you know him?” “Yes” she replies, “He’s my ex-husband, and has been drinking like that since I left him ... Read More »

Intelligent Husband!

Wife is busy packing her clothes. Man: And where are you going? Wife: I’m moving to my mother. Husband also starts packing. Wife: And where do you think your going? Husband: I’m also moving to my mother. Wife: And what about the kids? Husband: Well if you are moving to your mother and I’m moving to my mother then I ... Read More »

God’s Help!

A guy is walking along when suddenly he got his foot caught stuck in some railroad tracks. He tried to get it out but it was really stuck in there well. He heard a noise and turned around to see a train coming. He panicked and started to pray, “God, please get my foot out of these tracks and I’ll ... Read More »

Bikinis and Swimsuits

While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband’s advice. ‘What do you think?’ I asked. ‘Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?’ ‘Better get a bikini,’ he replied. ... Read More »

Romantic Evening!!!

Two Women chatting in office. Woman 1: I had a fine evening, how was yours? Woman 2: It was a disaster.. My husband came home, ate his dinner in 3 minutes and fell a sleep. How was yours ? Woman 1: Oh it was amazing! My husband came home and took me out for a romantic dinner. After dinner we ... Read More »

Fortune Teller

A man was wandering around a fairground, and he happened to see a fortune teller“s tent. Thinking it would be good for a laugh, he went inside and sat down. “Ah….” said the woman, as she gazed into her crystal ball. “I see you are the father of two children.” “Ha, you fortune tellers are all a sham!” said the ... Read More »

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