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Army Girl

“Daddy,” said my 10-year-old daughter, “I think I want to join the Army.” “Baby,” I answered, “I think the Air Force would be a better option for you.” “But I don’t want to be a pilot.” “You don’t have to be a pilot,” I told her. “There are other jobs in the Air Force.” Her answer: “I don’t want to ... Read More »

Sergeants

Two boys from the mountains, Leroy and Jasper have been promoted from privates to sergeants. Not long after, they’re out for a walk and Leroys says, “Hey, Jasper, there’s the NCO Club. Let’s you and me stop in.” “But we’s privates,” protests Jasper. “We’s sergeants now,” says Leroy, pulling him inside. “Now, Jasper, I’m a-gonna sit down and have me ... Read More »

We Want It Back

A U.S. Navy destroyer stops four Mexicans in a row boat rowing towards California. The captain gets on the loud-hailer and shouts, “Ahoy, small craft. Where are you headed?” One of the Mexicans puts down his oar, stands up, and replies, “We are invading the United States of America to reclaim the territory taken by the USA during the 1800s.” ... Read More »

A bit apprehensive…

As a sergeant in a parachute regiment I took part in several night time exercises. Once, I was seated next to a Lieutenant fresh from Jump School.He was quiet sad looked a bit pale so I struck up a conversation. “Scared, Lieutenant?”, I asked. He replied, “No, just a bit apprehensive.” I asked, “What’s the difference?” He replied, “That means ... Read More »

Fall out

As a group of soldiers stood in formation at an Army Base, the Drill Sergeant said, “All right! All you idiots fall out.” As the rest of the squad wandered away, one soldier remained at attention. The Drill Instructor walked over until he was eye to eye with him, and then raised a single eyebrow. The soldier smiled and said, ... Read More »

Military Training

Budget cuts to the Defence force forced the training team to start doing mock combat using no explosives, guns, or basically any equipment what-so-ever, so when it came to a training scenario, the Sergeant in charge tells his recruits that they are under imaginary fire, and what do they do? So all of the recruits except one scatter and get ... Read More »

Caught on the Job

The new army recruit was given guard duty at 2 a.m. He did his best for a while, but at about 4 a.m. he went to sleep. He awakened to find the officer of the day standing before him. Remembering the heavy penalty for being asleep on guard duty, this smart young man kept his head bowed for another moment ... Read More »

Post Turtles

While stitching a cut on the hand of a 75 year old veteran, whose hand was caught in the squeeze gate of the military hospital, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around to generals and their role as our leaders. The old veteran said, “Well, as I see it, most generals are ... Read More »

Who Is Calling?

The phone rang at the motor pool and an authoritative voice demanded to know how many vehicles were operational. Jim answered, “We’ve got twelve trucks, ten utilities, three staff cars and that Bentley the fat-arsed colonel swanks around in.” There was a stony silence for a second or two. “Do you know who you are speaking to?” “No,” said Paddy. ... Read More »

The Secret Airbase

United State Air Force has a high security, super secret base in Nevada, known simply as “Area 51?” One afternoon, a Cessna landed at this “secret” base. The aircraft was immediately impounded and the pilot was interrogated. The pilot’s story was that – he took off from Vegas, got lost & spotted the Base just as he was about to ... Read More »

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