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  • The End is Near!

    A local priest and a local pastor stood by the side of the road holding up a sign that said “The End is Near! Turn yourself around now before it’s too late!” They planned to hold up the sign to each passing car. “Leave us alone, you religious nuts!” yelled the first driver as he […] More

  • I recognized..

    The hit-and-run victim was just getting to his feet when a policeman ran up to help. “My mother-in-law just tried to run me over!” the shaken man told the cop. “The car hit you from behind,” the officer said. “How could you tell it was your mother-in-law?” “I recognized the laugh!” More

  • A Joint Account

    I went to a new bank in town to open a joint account. When they got to the point in the application where they ask for the second name on the account, my reply was, “Anyone who has a lot of money.” More

  • Who’s Kidding Who?

    (Grandpa) “Honey did you know that kids these days don’t put their tooth under the pillow for the tooth fairy? What they do is take a digital image and upload it to the toothfairy website they then get paid in bit coins.” (Grandma) “Dear, you’ve been talking to your grandson again and he’s pulling your […] More

  • Thank you!

    A teenager who had just received her learner’s permit for driving offered to drive her parents to church. After a hair-raising ride, they finally reached their destination. “Thank you!” said the mother as she got out of the car and breathed a sigh of relief. “Anytime,” her daughter replied. As the mother closed the door […] More

  • Footprint

    A man sitting at a lunch counter has just been served his food when he calls the waiter back. “Waiter,” he says, “can you explain why there is a footprint in the middle of this food that I ordered?” “Yes, sir,” replies the waiter. “You rushed in here, asked for a large omelet and told […] More

  • Think!

    In the men’s room at work, the Boss had placed a sign directly above the sink. It had a single word on it — “Think!” The next day, when he went to the men’s room, he looked at the sign and right below, immediately above the soap dispenser, someone had carefully lettered another sign which […] More

  • A student cheating

    A teacher caught a student cheating on his Botany exam and brought him into the principal’s office. “Miss Smith,” asked the principal. “How do you know Johnny was cheating?” “Because,” replied Miss Smith, “I found that he had 7 flowers tucked inside his jacket and a bunch of pollen up his sleeve. This makes me […] More

  • New clothes

    “Hey John, you got yourself new pants and a shirt.” “My wife got them for me.” “Must have been a surprise.” “Sure was. I come home and there they were on a chair in the bedroom!” More

  • Are you crazy?

    A waiter brings the customer the steak he ordered with his thumb over the meat. “Are you crazy?” yelled the customer, “Sticking your thumb in my steak?!” “What?” answers the waiter, “You want it to fall on the floor again?” More

  • If only..

    A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells, “PIG!” The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, “B****!” They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds […] More

  • Confidence

    A burglar, needing money to pay his income taxes, decided to rob the safe in a store. On the safe door he was very pleased to find a note reading: “Please don’t use dynamite. The safe is not locked. Just turn the knob.” He did so. Instantly a heavy sandbag fell on him, the entire […] More

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